everyday horses by Elizabeth Jill settle my mind like an opiate pour into my gullies like rain rock me to sleep i am orphaned and i don't want to wake to the pain burn me with laughter and ashes creep into my bloodstream like dope as long as the time quickly passes i won't have to listen or hope take me to space on your ticket of grace recite all your doctrine again look on my face you won't find any trace i keep all my secrets within everyday horses come riding travel my thoughts like the ancient remains everyday i'll keep on hiding there's a mark on my forehead like Cain build me higher and higher send me farther and farther speak to me speak to me speak to me though i'll never trust what you say 12/18/2009 Author's Note: settle my mind like an opiate pour into my gullies like rain rock me to sleep i am orphaned and i don't want to wake to the pain burn me with laughter and ashes creep into my bloodstream like dope as long as the time quickly passes i won't have to listen or hope take me to space on your ticket of grace recite all your doctrine again look on my face you won't find any trace i keep all my secrets within everyday horses come riding travel my thoughts like the ancient remains everyday i'll keep on hiding there's a mark on my forehead like Cain build me higher and higher send me farther and farther speak to me speak to me speak to me though i'll never trust what you say Posted on 12/18/2009 Copyright © 2024 Elizabeth Jill Member Comments on this Poem Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 12/18/09 at 07:26 PM A poem from you is always something "innermost". Some thing for the "mindbody" and I so like the "you" of you that runs through it. I resonate somewhat the same, between folly and woe; I feel it but can't always let is go. You cannot train a horse with shouts and expect it to obey a whisper. Feed the brave horses on oats and prose, and never be tempted to race against them. Thanks. Posted by Aaron Michael on 12/18/09 at 11:47 PM you are poetry. you are beautiful. Posted by Laura Doom on 12/19/09 at 12:44 AM i understand this two, too well Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 12/19/09 at 02:05 AM Are some of the words on the right supposed to be unfinished? This is the coolest - my fav line is "there's a mark on my forehead", and "everyday horses come riding" - the scrolling aspect gives this a can't-stop-this-for-nothing kind of tension. Thank you. Posted by Anne Boulender on 12/19/09 at 07:27 AM i like the thought of everyday horses. Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 12/19/09 at 11:57 AM Brilliant!I too, can so relate to this powerful piece you've so artistically created. Thanks for sharing this and glad to see it on the top of the ten where this belongs! Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 12/19/09 at 01:39 PM To inhale these words which rise like steam from kettle is to unsettle the congestion entrenched in the sinuses of the soul. Posted by George Hoerner on 12/19/09 at 02:14 PM Horses like your words are hard to hold onto. They require their freedom and though we whisper low and sweet they never quite trust us either. Wonderful write lady. Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 12/19/09 at 04:16 PM Definately going in my altered book of collected poems of my favorite writers of which you are most definately one and of course the favs here at Pathetic! I love this! Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/19/09 at 07:11 PM It goes without saying Jill that the lines moving up the screen adds a whole new visual effect to the poem; something I've never seen here at Pathetic. What I really like though is that the poem easily stands out on its own without the above mentioned animation. Well thought out and thought provoking as always. Glad to see it as No. 1. Season's best! Chris. :o) Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/19/09 at 07:12 PM P.S. Love the title also! Posted by Tony Whitaker on 12/20/09 at 11:36 AM Like following Mussorgsky's "Pictures at an Exhibition", I enjoy how your piece unfolds as you are pulled through this poetic "gallery". Posted by Traci Mabats on 12/20/09 at 04:50 PM I love the last line. Posted by JD Clay on 06/04/10 at 04:33 PM Your innovative craftiness never ceases to amaze. Very few people have poetic genes but yours fit like a mink mitten. But hey, who CAN you trust? Posted by Max Bouillet on 07/18/10 at 09:10 PM Give me something to believe in but don't be too disappointed if my faith fails. I can no longer trust the prophets... they aren't as effective as pharmacueticals. Great read! Posted by Glenn Currier on 07/31/10 at 07:36 PM I love the meter and rhyme... they invited me to just fall into this one. I let go and followed your flow, and fell through with that last line. The abandon and good-heartedness in his poem tell me something important about you. I like poems that reveal the poet - they are brave and they are great when they speak the truth. This one does. Thanks. Return to the Previous Page   pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)