| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Ulyss Rubey on 08/31/04 at 05:31 AM Damn Dude that sounds serious, and sort of final.
I'll study it more and get back to you. You are a gifted poet- no felt fedora intended. |
| Posted by Graeme Fielden on 08/31/04 at 09:02 AM satirical black-humour at its finest, Jadi...I nearly choked on my cornflakes with laughter:) |
| Posted by Rula Shin on 08/31/04 at 01:30 PM Dark satirical humor indeed Jadi. Extremely well written piece of sturdy opinion and as such, I find the expression itself an interesting twist to the theme as it relates to the production of any suicide note, “no satisfaction in a long goodbye…I refuse to predicate the rationale of my demise” – ah yes, and yet here you do hint at a notion of ‘why’ as do you give ‘instructions’ – “send my calls to voice mail tell the bastards I went crazy”. I think this is an exceptional piece as it is layered with irony, incredible word plays, and killer final lines. The only thing I’m not sure of is, “I’ve subpoenaed numerous…words to govern…and justifies the wane” – should it be ‘justify’ or am I reading wrong? In any case, from my perspective this deserves an A++. :-) |
| Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 09/01/04 at 01:25 AM Stark and startling! Cynical satire on the world of politics! "Dark humor" says it well. |
| Posted by Kate Demeree on 09/02/04 at 01:44 PM Dark .. richly brewed poetry.... anger given voice. Ummmm.... mixed with my sweetend creamy coffee a nice way to start the day. It is well crafted JD.... and very well written. |
| Posted by Lori Johnson on 09/02/04 at 05:30 PM I had to check & be sure the author was really jadi! LOL
Nice work, darkly funny. |
| Posted by Ken Harnisch on 09/02/04 at 06:00 PM Sizzling with electric anger....wonderful suicide note, jadi..and long life to the poet who coenceived such treasure! |
| Posted by Sarah Graves on 09/02/04 at 09:37 PM Hah, this is great JD. Sounds like you're the only one thats going to have the last laugh.. or so you think.. |
| Posted by David R Spellman on 09/04/04 at 12:35 PM You never cease to amaze me with the complexity and diversity of your writing. A brilliant piece JD! |
| Posted by Bruce W Niedt on 09/07/04 at 04:34 PM Wow! This packs a punch all right. You perfectly capture the tone of angry desperation, with clever, even amusing wordplay, which keeps it from being a complete downer. Well-done! d:-) |
| Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 09/19/04 at 12:09 PM my sentiments, to a tee. to hades with em if they don't like it! I always wonder why they want you to stick around? is it an honest to goodness love for you or the need to take advantage of your labor at minimum wage? |
| Posted by Mara Meade on 09/30/04 at 02:21 PM oh YEAH! I mean YEAH! I mean... DAMN, this is RIGHTEOUS! On to my favourites it goes... |
| Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 01/24/05 at 10:19 PM can't say much else, except... can you copyright this and send it to the rest of us, just in case? *wink*... way with words, ye have... blessings... |
| Posted by Maria Terezia Ferencz on 02/08/05 at 02:37 AM Failure sure does wear concrete boots, much easier sometimes to stop walking then drag them around....Very nice. |
| Posted by Rachelle Howe on 03/25/05 at 05:24 PM F*ck yes! *dances* pretty, pretty dancing,... forgotten bones, and all you own, and don't come in a prancing... *swirls.* okay. delirium/spaz moment over. i love this. love it. only thought: in the first stanza: if you ended the second to last line with "permit" and left "to off myself" as the final smack, it weighs in like a prize fighter. :) unfortunately, that might make the line too long. eh. i'm exhausted, forgive. :) i just liked "to off myself" as the pinch hitter. and i HEART the second stanza. |
| Posted by Rachelle Howe on 03/25/05 at 05:24 PM F*ck yes! *dances* pretty, pretty dancing,... forgotten bones, and all you own, and don't come in a prancing... *swirls.* okay. delirium/spaz moment over. i love this. love it. only thought: in the first stanza: if you ended the second to last line with "permit" and left "to off myself" as the final smack, it weighs in like a prize fighter. :) unfortunately, that might make the line too long. eh. i'm exhausted, forgive. :) i just liked "to off myself" as the pinch hitter. and i HEART the second stanza. |
| Posted by Rachelle Howe on 03/25/05 at 05:33 PM i guess it felt like repeating me. O.o oi. SORRY! :)
okay, well, i've read it again a third time and "You can shove that warrant
Up your proxy mandate
I refuse to predicate the
Rationale of my demise" made me crack the hell up. in fact, this entire piece speaks to the sardonic attitudes that society and our government (okay, people in general) has adopted. people aren't living anymore, really. they're just using up all the life support. the masses, that is. :)
quote of the day: "live or die, but don't poison everything." |
| Posted by Glenn Currier on 04/20/05 at 07:48 PM I like the anger in this piece. It seems unlike you, but I am delighted to see this facet of the diamond of you. You touch the parts of me that hate authoritarian interference and stupidity. I really savored your upyoursness. |
| Posted by H.M Stevens on 07/13/05 at 05:47 AM I feel the same way often. Thank you for expressing. |
| Posted by Amy Wustrin on 07/28/05 at 07:04 PM This is an impressive peice. I like everything about the way you approached it! Well done!
(Also, man can I ever relate!!) |
| Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 10/11/06 at 02:03 PM shivering in my bones with (humble) screams of "write on". I found this in Mara's favorites, jadi. Og, I'm so glad I check favorites lists!
Now it'll be in mine. *Jill |
| Posted by V. Blake on 10/06/10 at 06:58 AM "You can shove that warrant
Up your proxy mandate
I refuse to predicate the
Rationale of my demise" constitutes what might be the greatest stanza in history. Sheer brilliance, Jadi. |
