Know your exit

by Elizabeth Jill

               I am a weight 
               in the lap of the sand 
               I'm sinking I'm sinking 
               there's no place to land 
               the sun, she sinks also 
               I follow her crown 
               we've been here before 
               we're both going down 
               I am the rust 
               on the nails of this pier 
               nobody dares 
               to follow me here 
               the sea covers me 
               with her heavy salt gown 
               a sand blasted shell, 
               I know how to drown 


Posted on 01/12/2012
Copyright © 2018 Elizabeth Jill

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Ava Blu on 01/12/12 at 11:40 PM

No drowning. An exit is just an entrance to something else, right? At least that's the cliche I know about. :)

Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 01/12/12 at 11:56 PM

Beautiful, Jill....I love the nature imagery and symbolism and the smooth rhythmic flow of this....thx :)

Posted by Mo Couts on 01/13/12 at 12:22 AM

I love clear, concise, and well written.

Posted by Colleen Sperry on 01/19/12 at 10:51 AM

Love this Poem.. simple yet speaks so clearly to so much

Posted by Ken Harnisch on 01/19/12 at 01:42 PM

Having tread water more times than I care to count, I can only say I've been there Jill..and this tells it all so very well.

Posted by Laura Doom on 01/22/12 at 07:01 PM

taking a deep breath...

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 02/12/12 at 02:10 PM

understatement is saying that I merely love this poem. this poem is one which makes me want to rust along with the poet on the pier, desire nothing less than to drown simultaneously along.

Posted by Andrea Colton on 04/03/12 at 10:39 PM

Beautiful. I can envision this piece being put to music. Would be wonderful lyrics.

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 04/12/12 at 05:10 PM

Exquisite rhyming scheme in this lament that I somehow missed the first time around. I pray for buoys and strong castle walls.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 04/19/12 at 05:03 PM

Serious and yet playful at the same time. I know I read this before...and rated it, but for some reason my comment didn't stick. Nice work Jill!

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