| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Laurie Blum on 09/23/09 at 03:54 PM This is such a vivid image! It really provides a perfect glimpse at the exuberance at the ending of a school day! Nicely written Shannon... |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 09/23/09 at 04:00 PM ...shannon, laurie says it all: so neat to be "in" the moment w/ kids...adulthood loses so much freedom...imagery, too cool. |
| Posted by Timothy Burns on 09/24/09 at 05:31 AM I second El, I love that line about fat seagulls!
What a great poem! Welcome to Pathetic! |
| Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 09/26/09 at 07:34 AM powerhouse imagery, Shannon.
particularly that last line.
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| Posted by Jo Halliday on 09/26/09 at 07:20 PM The whole poem is like a haiku; sharply etches the moment, and says so much. |
| Posted by William Brunk on 09/30/09 at 09:37 PM painted very clearly. i could see it all. |
| Posted by Tony Whitaker on 10/01/09 at 07:17 AM Hi Shannon, I had to check out your library after commenting on my latest haiku. I clicked on the first, which is this real beauty. I absolutely love the unforced alliteration, simile and imagery use. Keep Writing!!!! |
