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A Christmas that almost never was

by Dave Fitzgerald

Twas Christmas Eve
And can you believe
That Santa was almost too late?
He'd caught the flu
And off he flew
Although in that terrible state.

He'd taken pills
To ward off the chills
But still he wound up freezing
The reindeers knew
About his flu
From the moment he started sneezing.

From his nose
Down to his toes
His body was all of a quiver.
What could they do
About his flu,
And all those toys to deliver?

'Find me a home!'
Santa intoned.
'I need a drop of Whiskey!
A couple of tots,
In something hot
Will have me bright and frisky.'

'No chance sir!'
Said Rudolph to Dancer,
And he held the others from diving.
'He could get stopped,
By a Christmas cop,
And get done for drinking and driving!'

I'm not sure now,
But they managed somehow
To get the toys all under the trees.
But I've heard tell
That the presents just fell
Every time that Santa would sneeze.


Posted on 12/19/2007
Copyright © 2024 Dave Fitzgerald

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Brian Francis on 12/19/07 at 10:31 PM

LMAO I love it Dave. Great write. --bf

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 12/20/07 at 04:16 AM

Very funny Christmas eve! Poor Santa!!

Posted by Angela Nuzzo on 12/20/07 at 05:58 AM

This is hilarious, Dave! I can just imagine the illustrations for this if made into a kid's (adult's) storybook! The image of Santa blowing the gifts right off the sleigh? = Priceless! :)

Posted by Alisa Js on 12/20/07 at 08:21 AM

lol.. this one is just way toooo cute.. aloha..and Happy holidays to you.... from out here, this side of paradise.. alisa ;-)

Posted by Wendy Sparling on 12/21/07 at 08:27 PM

HeHe!! Poor Santa indeed! This poem enlighened my day.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/23/07 at 03:15 PM

A wonderful touch of humor for this festive season Dave. And how the times have changed; imagine Santa getting pulled over for DWI! :o)

Posted by A. Paige White on 12/23/07 at 05:53 PM

Leaves me chuckling and grinning. Great read!

Posted by A. Paige White on 12/24/07 at 03:25 PM

Congratulations on POTD on Christmas Eve!

Still chuckle when I read it!

Posted by Wendy Sparling on 12/24/07 at 05:45 PM

Congrats on your POTD, Dave!!!

Posted by Charles E Minshall on 12/24/07 at 05:45 PM

Congratulations on poem of the day Dave. What a terrible job for Santa When he has the flu. All the children waiting, And he's long overdue. This brought me a smile. Thanks....Charlie

Posted by Michelle Angelini on 12/25/07 at 02:39 AM

Congratulations Dave on winning 2nd place in the contest and for POTD on Christmas Eve. This is one very funny poem.

Posted by Tony Whitaker on 12/25/07 at 09:09 AM

How did I miss this wonderful Christmas poem. This is so appropriate for my first read of Christmas morning. May you and yours have the merriest Christmas and happy reindeer! Cheers!

Posted by JD Clay on 01/05/08 at 06:33 PM

This one has happiness written all over it, Dave. Congratulations on POTD and your success in the Holiday Poetry Contest!

Posted by Glenn Currier on 12/26/09 at 05:58 PM

I am sooooooo glad I found this one the day after Christmas 2009. I wish I had found it two days before so I could share it with others to make the day even brighter than it was. Thanks for this peek into that little boyDave.

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