one moment: Loading by Elizabeth Jill I caught a pencil chewing its own eraser down to the teeth scattering crumbs chipping its way through the crawlspaces of metaphor landing in a cemetery of poems who essayed and dyed in their ink. It's just a phrase I'm going through. 10/06/2007 Author's Note: Posted on 10/06/2007 Copyright © 2024 Elizabeth Jill Member Comments on this Poem Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 10/06/07 at 02:16 PM Amazing... but wait...pause..downloading ... now see... I threw a pencil and I'm all praise! You bagged it and led it to gum through its days! Alliteratively swallowed to avoid its demise and pen punted it over where computer chips graze. Munch munch you're wonderful! Posted by A. Paige White on 10/06/07 at 03:16 PM LOL! This is wonderful! Sounds like a pencil where I work. Great poem! Posted by Jean Mollett on 10/06/07 at 04:48 PM Hi Elizabeth, This is great. How did you do that? Me, thinks ya hit it right on the nose. I know there's no writers block on your end. Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 10/06/07 at 09:19 PM Beyond brilliant and onto brillig! The presentation delights and then one looks into the "scene" and there are teeth still in there gnawing at me and how I write or try to write. It is good that I don't compose with pencil, for it would be a mess, although I wouldn't mind if you lent me yours once in awhile, just to feel your magic marker world. Posted by Paul Lastovica on 10/06/07 at 09:53 PM lots of fun to be had here =) Posted by Alisa Js on 10/06/07 at 09:57 PM very clever... aloha Posted by Rhiannon Jones on 10/07/07 at 01:54 AM The image of those crawlspaces of metaphor keeps chipping away at me...this is almost hallucinatory! (a good thing). Posted by Dan Kasten on 10/07/07 at 03:26 PM It's like reading Escher. You always seem to break into the 4th dimension with your pieces, keeping me on my toes. Posted by Mara Meade on 10/09/07 at 06:57 PM And you turn these phases so well... Posted by Charles E Minshall on 10/12/07 at 05:52 PM This is funtastc Jill....Charlie Posted by Laura Doom on 12/21/07 at 12:42 AM A studio in which I feel at home :) I admire your ability to deviate from the script by sticking to it, but even more in using it as an embellishment to the poetry rather than a distraction from it - priceless creativity and quality beyond value...the play's the jill thing :) Posted by Joan Serratelli on 03/04/09 at 05:42 PM UNREAL! you are soooooo creative! An amazing piece by an amazing writer- loved it! Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 08/23/09 at 11:33 AM any moment spent reading your wonder works is a magical moment and I hope to spend the remainder in my satchel much anticipating the more in store of your pieces de resistance. Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 03/18/10 at 01:26 PM More than clever! Creative genius in this 'metaphor' for the evolution from pencil to computer. Wonderful! I got a chuckle out of the "It's just a 'phrase' I'm going through." Love it!! LOL!! Posted by Ben Evans on 08/31/11 at 03:50 PM I read this a couple of times. I liked it. At first I got a little caught on the line "dyed in their ink" - which is neat. It took me those extra reads to get past this to the essence of this tight little poem. Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 12/26/15 at 12:30 AM Great to see as POTD! The inimitable Jill. Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/26/15 at 02:17 AM Nice one Jill. Well put...and congrats on POTD. Return to the Previous Page   pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)