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Imagine Me in Cassie's Red Suede Boots

by Rusty C Arquette

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How did I break my arm?

I found a package at my door today
Puzzled, I took the parcel inside
I hadn’t ordered anything by mail
And it certainly wasn’t my birthday
Plain brown wrapping with my name
Written in large red block letters
With no return address to be seen
It looked like someone’s goofy game

My friends are quick to play a trick
I’m quick to play the trick right back
I smiled and gently shook the bulky box
This might be a dead fish or a brick
No dizzy terrorists had my address
I had no fear that it might explode
So I quickly tore open the box 
Surprised at what was in the mess

A pair of thigh high boots of red suede 
With stiletto heels and big brass zippers 
Now I knew who this package was from
Cassie, my wild and carefree river maid
Feeling a bit inquisitive and foolishly able,
I poured a double shot of tequila nerves,
Wrestled my fat thighs into her snug boots
And in BVDs climbed upon the coffee table

Lit up and laughing at my awkward dance
A grotesque parody of bumps and grinds 
“Hot Blooded” propels me into hysteria
And I assume that pouting bad girl stance
My ankles are suddenly aware of the heels
Caving in they drop me to my aging knees
And diving I slam face first to the floor
Discovering how unconsciousness feels

The paramedics came to carry me away
Grinning at the deviant sight before them
They had to ask just what the hell I’d done
So I told them, wondering what they’d say
And it seemed at first they didn’t really care
Until they both broke out in gales of laughter
Losing their grip on the clumsy gurney
They dropped me going down the stairs

That’s how I broke my arm!

11/22/2000

Author's Note: I was thinking back to the ol' days here at the PPS..when Cassie took to dancing on the coffee table in her thigh high red suede boots..so I thought I'd dust this one off for all you old timers..right Que? (grin)

Posted on 09/10/2007
Copyright © 2024 Rusty C Arquette

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Anne Engelen on 09/10/07 at 06:50 AM

It must have been in the air. Me too was thinking about the red boots the other day, glad you posted this again!! **hug**

Posted by Tony Whitaker on 09/10/07 at 09:09 AM

Absolutely captivating and funny as !@#$%!! This one goes in my faves!

Posted by A. Paige White on 09/10/07 at 02:48 PM

LOL! Swing that broken wing, RCAt!
We dig your red suede jig! ;-P~

Posted by Rhiannon Jones on 09/10/07 at 03:39 PM

Now, that's a pretty sight. Read this yesteday right after returning from buying a new pair of boots at famous footwear's discount store (but mine are big cluncky lace-up military-style...another pretty sight). Thanks for the laugh!

Posted by Charles E Minshall on 09/10/07 at 06:05 PM

Fun Rusty. I miss the red boot days....Charlie

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 09/13/07 at 02:34 PM

Boogie down!! What a sight you must have been!! This is a terrific read. Thanks, R.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 09/13/07 at 04:15 PM

LOL! Excellent trip (pun intended) down memory lane Rusty. Talk about a Kodac moment!!! Alice Cooper has leopard skin thigh highs, so maybe the two of you could team up sometime???

Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 09/15/07 at 01:59 AM

LOL!! Those were the days! Those infamous red suede boots. Cassie is still kicking! This is a great reminder of some of the hilarious days in the old chat room.

Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 09/15/07 at 02:28 AM

Red suede boots, huh? LOL! Wonderful poem. So sorry about the broken arm. :)

Posted by Kate Demeree on 09/15/07 at 03:02 AM

*BRAVO* Well Done RCat!!!!! As one of the old timmers... I miss Cassie Awfuly! Glad I am not alone in doing so! I think PPS is less of a golden place for her being gone..... I also miss the 3 Musketters... *soft smile* and the high jinks we used to get up to *grin* Cassie if you are out there and read this... I love you "Lady Cass"

Posted by Michelle Angelini on 09/16/07 at 01:47 AM

RCat, I think I was laughing as much as the paramedics. Fortunately, I'm not on a table top, but sitting down. Alas, no red suede boots. You sure can tell a tale. ;-)
~Chelle~

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 09/17/07 at 12:44 PM

What a joyride!

Posted by Mara Meade on 09/20/07 at 09:43 PM

I remember those days... and with those red suede boots on YOU, m'Dear R-Cat... I'm lost in hysterics! If she only realized her legacy....

Posted by Carol Grant on 08/03/10 at 04:38 AM

Oh my does this bring back memories. I loved the red boot era...we had such great fun dancin and prancin. I do realize my legacy..it something I will never forget. Maybe I will repost the red suede boot poem that got this all started. C Grant aka...Cassie Blake. smoochies everyone...

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