until we have nothing by Elizabeth Jill §____________________§ The river takes a shortcut and winds up in the desert puzzled by the cacti. Silence turns up her volume. While in the caves of mountains a gust becomes a wind becomes a breeze becomes a puff until there is nothing. All this skating and skidding on thin ice never grants the grace to look the razor in the eye. §____________________§ 02/12/2006 Author's Note: under construction Posted on 02/12/2006 Copyright © 2024 Elizabeth Jill Member Comments on this Poem Posted by Mara Meade on 02/12/06 at 04:07 PM No further construction needed. This is powerful, Jill. Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 02/12/06 at 07:26 PM This is a fascinating journey. Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 02/15/06 at 05:24 PM Certainly an attractive poem from a visual standpoint. I also like it for the use of natural elements such as wind and desert. Thanks also for your feedback on my latest. :o) Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 02/16/06 at 05:18 AM Jill, your rich visuals, overlayed by just plain mind blowing truth has invaded my space and knocked the wind right out of me. Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 08/18/07 at 02:04 PM Intricately sensitive-- emotionally, sonically, visually. The "silence" is tangible here. Atmosphere is sensual... as if one enters through words the desert, the caves. The "wind" puzzling "cactus" is a fantastic image... and then the "sharded ice" recalls that near the end, to me, where the skaters do not hear or see... from above what they slide upon (like wind) along the surface-- (seen from below, the "razor" could meet the "eye"...) in silence. A hush falls upon the poem, as the reader feels beginnings and endings in nothingness as pictured. Posted by Laura Doom on 12/17/08 at 02:02 PM ...and the shortcut is the deepest when all's dead and sung. Another appetizing glimpse of your horizon Miss Jill :> Posted by Joan Serratelli on 03/03/09 at 05:20 PM Beautiful write! Love your use of nature as visual elements. Incredible! Return to the Previous Page   pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online All works Copyright © 2024 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)