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a butterfly effect
by Andrew S Adamsmy featherweight breath shouldn't be of notice.
where ever you may lay tonight, a butterfly will
grace the mountaintops and disturb the same tendrils of hair
that my own wind couldn't touch.
now, just close your eyes and tell me if you could
tell me who this dream might belong to;
who this voice could deceive- because i have been
deceived. and tell me, who could this thought reconcile?
because i have not been reconciled.
i am dreaming of the moment when the butterfly will
cross back over that great ridge, undo the moments in
time and the breaths that i've exhaled,
so perhaps i could breathe in the scent of the hair
that deceived me. 12/27/2003 Author's Note: published in the 2005 edition of edina high school's 'images' literary arts magazine. so... i didn't even know this was poem of the day... haha. that's awesome. funny thing is, the magazine in which it was published also came out 6/2. so, thanks to all of you... this is one of my favourite poems of my own. woo.
Posted on 12/28/2003
Copyright © 2024 Andrew S Adams
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 12/28/03 at 02:34 AM love the title, and the opening stanza is wonderfully memorable. ..... undo the moments in
time and the breaths that i've exhaled, also a great line, |
| Posted by Cymbre Dolphay on 12/29/03 at 03:53 AM Butterfly...such a lovely being. And very sad as well. How do they do that? Be happy and sorrowful all at once? |
| Posted by Richard Paez on 12/29/03 at 02:32 PM Mr. Adams, this is one of the best poems I've ever read. This has everything I like to see- a strong, unique, cohesive concept; an extended metaphor that draws one in gracefully, that tells as much by virtue of its existence as much as by what it says; great use of rhetorical devices without making them a distraction (particularly effective- the repetition/parallel construction in both form and thoughts, the subtle antithesis); a form that makes sense; and a great flow that brings all the technical and artistic qualities of the piece together into a natural whole. I love the dreaming, rip-van-winkle quality of the poem, the butterfly-spirit-messenger, the (almost obsessive) focus on her hair. I love the way the second stanza develops, the way it tells so much by asking questions, the way it asks those questions, the way it is separate from yet so organically integrated into the rest. This is great writing, great emotion, great art. You caught a perfect idea at just the right moment and put it down to paper beautifully. If you haven't submitted this for publication already I insist that you start doing so now. Thank you, very much, for sharing this. {m} |
| Posted by Anita Mac on 12/31/03 at 07:02 AM Again, good and sad... touch of angst doesn't hurt it either. |
| Posted by Melanie A Bennett on 06/05/04 at 01:01 PM Amazing...simply amazing. I love this and it is now one of my favorites :) |
| Posted by Ginette T Belle on 06/10/04 at 01:31 AM must catch my breath after reading that one...it's absolutely stunning dear |
| Posted by Vimal Rony on 06/14/04 at 12:59 AM This is like a magical whisper with a velvet touch that drapes around the readers' heart effortlessly.Brilliant,Adrian. |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 06/17/04 at 05:06 PM Chalk another great moment up to cause and effect. Good poem! Also congrats Andrew on Spotlight of the month; well deserved, and nice to see one of the young'ns center stage. |
| Posted by Ava Blu on 12/07/04 at 02:26 AM I know I can't add anything new to the comments...everyone was correct...it is quite spectacular. I find myself enjoying all of your poetry. I swear I am going to read every last one! =) |
| Posted by Felicia Aguilar on 05/19/05 at 12:10 AM This is a beautiful poem. Such amazing imagery! |
| Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 06/03/05 at 12:54 AM wow, i wonder what else i said the first time i commented, because surely there was more after that comma!! this is just a beautiful poem, amazing that it comes from the mind of someone so young. it's incredible to think how much more you will have to say, and say beautifully for the rest of your life. |
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 06/03/05 at 06:17 AM Andrew, there's an ethereal quality about the poem that drew through it, like a wave rolling to shore. Yet, just when there might be hope, it's snatched away - powerful words! Congratulations on POTD!
~Chelle~ |
| Posted by Frankie Sanchez on 06/06/05 at 05:43 PM i'm blown away by how beautiful this piece is... just, wow... |
| Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 08/17/06 at 03:14 AM Give me a poem like this and I'll cave in ... in an outward way. What beautiful imagery and sensations in this piece of life's pie. |
| Posted by Maria Terezia Ferencz on 08/22/06 at 02:34 PM A dream we all share, put so very beautifully, on the wings of words... |
| Posted by Katerina T Nix on 11/28/06 at 06:20 AM This is a beautiful piece, Andrew. Well done. Kat. |
| Posted by Emma Turtle on 07/16/07 at 11:52 PM this poem is beautiful.Lyrically perfect! |
| Posted by Quinn Vokes on 10/26/08 at 02:33 AM Absolutely beautiful. It's all been said before, and I can see why this was poem of the day!
Qu |
| Posted by Nicole D Gregory on 04/03/10 at 08:36 PM Andrew, This popped up on "random"... and I think it is fate conspiring... This piece is just amazing - which is such a lame way to state it - but I simply cannot breathe or find the right words to lend it a matching compliment. ~N |
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