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A Tale of Two Muses

by Max Bouillet

My friend says his muse
sits on his shoulder and whispers gently in his ear.
Her words become kisses that
ripple through his soul
stirring inspiration from a thankful mind…

My muse lounges on a bar stool
propped up on my shoulder
oft falling off with an audible thud
while in a drunken stupor,
usually after using up all my cell phone minutes
to invite satyrs and nymphs
to drink all my booze.

She disappears to frolic on foreign shoulders,
returning days later
hung-over and wretched
smelling of cigars, liquor, and the sweat of sex.

She possesses my tongue
at the most inopportune moments
oft causing embarrassment
and impromptu trips to the emergency room.

Recently, she took off to Vegas
where she informed me she intended
to do slots and shots.
A postcard arrived saying that
she had accidentally woke up in Tijuana
and needed me to wire her
some money to get back, or she
would have to resort to performing
donkey shows to raise the bus fare.

I gave some blood for cash
and sold some rookie baseball cards
so that I could wire her enough
to get her back home where she belongs…
sitting on my shoulder and retching
in my ear.

11/16/2003

Author's Note: I'm sorry.

Posted on 11/17/2003
Copyright © 2020 Max Bouillet

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Christina Bruno on 11/17/03 at 04:31 AM

sorry what for?? i love it! very clever!

Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 11/17/03 at 06:11 AM

your imagination runneth away like a breezy evening overlooking an ocean of alcohol... brute honesty with tongue-in-cheek irony, you have absolutely NOTHING to apologize for... write on, dear Max, write on...

Posted by Graeme Fielden on 11/17/03 at 10:35 AM

*Chuckles*I'm sure that your grandma used to warn you what would happen if you hung out with the "wrong" crowdlet this be a lesson Max

Posted by Mara Meade on 11/17/03 at 01:44 PM

Bwaahhh haahhh hhaaahhhh! I like your muse better! What a marvelous description!!!

Posted by Amanda J Cobb on 11/17/03 at 05:53 PM

hehe. This amused me much. Well-put together, no wasted words. :)

Posted by Laura Doom on 11/17/03 at 08:42 PM

I could do with one that throws up poetry of this nature :>] Incubus rules and succubus lures - okko? Very tasteful as always max =P

Posted by Rachelle Howe on 11/18/03 at 04:54 PM

yeah? well, my muse pimps yours out. and she still owes me for the cab fare from last year, but we won't even remotely bring that up. tell her that if i see her on my corner, well, it just won't be pretty. *grin*

brilliance, max. as always.

Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 11/19/03 at 02:50 AM

Hahahahaha! Too funny! Now that is uncritical me seeing the absurdity (possibly a bit of selfrevelation in the poem). I will not indulge the critical side of me. This deserves a good uncritical laugh!

Posted by Glenn Currier on 11/19/03 at 03:28 PM

Oh, such a romantic you are. Ha! Especially got a kick out of the Tijuana reference. I wonder if my muse has been way behind in the distance trailing yours and not having nearly as much fun. Raucous good fun, my friend.

Posted by Kate Demeree on 11/19/03 at 03:33 PM

Oh... Max! I was smiling... and grimmicing at the same time. What a wry whit.. and a bit of bittersweet you place on the page. There are exquisit lines here that could stand by themselves.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 11/20/03 at 02:19 PM

Humorous and entertaining analogy fellow bard. Better get a lock for that liquer cabinet.

Posted by Siri Lipscomb on 11/20/03 at 11:47 PM

You sure give yourself a lot to analyze. Dang, man... ;o)

Posted by Jeanne Marie Hoffman on 11/21/03 at 05:12 PM

My muse just overly calls in sick (one of those types). Very amusing tale and nice contrast to the cliche view of muses ;)

Posted by David R Spellman on 11/21/03 at 09:50 PM

Such a humorous exposing of you and your muse. A wonderful tale that I enjoyed thoroughly. I'd keep her around too if she continues to provide such as this!

Posted by Traci Mabats on 11/22/03 at 02:37 AM

Okay, you have cynicism down to an art, quit showing off! Sheesh, you are good.

Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 11/26/03 at 10:57 PM

your friend's muse certainly doesn't get YOUR juices going. it is what it is. a fantastic read.

Posted by Ginette T Belle on 12/05/03 at 01:03 AM

brilliance in the form of a poem, gracing me with it's enormous presence...sometimes i just stand in awe...

Posted by Charles E Minshall on 12/24/03 at 12:12 AM

I wonder if that is where my muse has gone. H-m-m-m-m. (rubbing chin) Fun poem Max

Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 05/18/04 at 09:19 PM

this is speaking to me today, max. i just had to visit.

Posted by Alex Smyth on 08/27/04 at 12:39 PM

Muses, caint live withem, caint shoot em.

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 10/06/04 at 12:33 PM

as with all realities and dames, you can't live with em and you can't live without em. but whose complainin? certainly not the bartender? so set em up Joe, got a little story you otta know. I'm drinking my friend to the end of a brief episode.

Posted by Kalikala Smith on 02/19/05 at 07:47 PM

ahh this is great. i think my muse and yours are twins;)

Posted by Alison McKenzie on 12/10/07 at 07:25 AM

How I missed this I'll never quite understand. It's sadly vivid and touching in a very weird way.

Posted by Nicole D Gregory on 07/23/08 at 11:44 PM

Oh my goodness! I am so glad to have come across this... so clever... so fantastic... Definitely a new fave for me!!! ~N

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