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I Need to Be Better
by Amber BAnd those little voices in your head telling you to be nice even though the one in question never did anything to deserve it and the money ain't so good and my mood ain't so good so why try and save me save me
leading me on like its all gravy gravy
Frantic around the witching hour time to go home
lead me home
faster I run and for what?
How was your day? Fine thanks you?
And then its all a fantasy world the internet our only connection
ten minutes for the hours I spent
is this how its gonna be?
please tell me it'll get better
with
time
sippin' on the bitter wine
the dregs of life creepin' up my skin like I'm infected body and soul so shoot me shoot me
I'm doubting myself again
doubting myself again
07/31/2003 Author's Note: The style's a bit different than my normal writings... please let me know what you think! :)
Peace, love and tumbling words,
~Amber
Posted on 07/31/2003
Copyright © 2024 Amber B
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Agnes Eva on 07/31/03 at 10:58 PM it does tumble, you're right! i enjoy the repeating words... |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 08/01/03 at 06:17 PM I like the steady stream of thought style to this poem. Strong clear message also. Visually though, you might try breaking up that first line. Kudos! |
| Posted by Max Bouillet on 08/04/03 at 03:13 PM Love the sporadic rhymes and the doubling words. The format reminds me of things being thrown at me. Some hit me on the first read... while others hit me on the second. Great words. |
| Posted by Kate Donovan on 08/08/03 at 03:37 AM i like this a lot. i can just hear it being read aloud, i hope you do that some time, because this piece is perfect for it. it's so intense that you lose your breath as you're reading it... amazing. |
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