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I Tried
by JD Clay
I really tried But theres nothing left to do
It would take some heavy equipment to fix this one
Broken hearts dont just fall back into place
I dragged out all the excuses
Then draped them over the bed
Each one fit her like a sack
You know its over when they pack all 46 pairs of shoes
Can you believe it
She still has the box for every pair
I guess this is it
Flowers didnt even work
She never said a word
Just walked out
Roses in tow
~jadi~
11/29/2001 Author's Note: This is a re-post. I pulled it from my library here at PPS last year when it became published. It appeared online in Wired Art From Wired Hearts - Raw Silk Poetry, in April, May, & June, 2003.
Posted on 07/13/2003
Copyright © 2024 JD Clay
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 07/13/03 at 06:46 PM This is like a final kick when the person has already been beaten to a pulp---"Roses in tow".
This poem sounds like someone attempting to put the best face on an untenable situation. The grim smile covering an aching heart. |
| Posted by Vimal Rony on 07/13/03 at 06:52 PM Very wonderful.Unique and Brilliant as usual. |
| Posted by Mary Ellen Smith on 07/13/03 at 07:34 PM Love this JD...and yes the roses in tow finishes it off just perfectly...the ownership of the roses...says so much..like...she deservered them...or why waste perfectly good roses...or one last gift...its interesting to imagine the thinking behind it...like the ending to a movie that gives you just a hint of things to come... |
| Posted by Anne Engelen on 07/13/03 at 07:57 PM 46 pairs??? WOW hehehehe Great poem buddy :) |
| Posted by Rommel Cruz on 07/14/03 at 03:24 AM ouch. but fun. =) |
| Posted by Charles E Minshall on 07/14/03 at 05:17 AM Fun poem of a bad situation Jadi....Charlie |
| Posted by Lori Johnson on 07/14/03 at 05:34 PM A joyful read, JD. Put a humorous twist on a painful situation, gotta love that. :) |
| Posted by Alex Smyth on 07/15/03 at 03:01 AM Wow, at times like that all a guy can do is turn to his Golden Retriever and say, "This round's on me" :o)[congratulations on the publication, definately a poem of the times!] |
| Posted by Graeme Fielden on 07/15/03 at 12:27 PM "these boots are made for walking"...but all 46 pairs?! a great little scence captured to perfection. All the best G :) |
| Posted by Mara Meade on 07/15/03 at 12:34 PM I liked the "it would take some heavy equipment to fix this one." Whoo, that's a statement that'll rip your heart out. As usual, Jadi, you ended it with a little twist of humour - you always amaze me! |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 07/16/03 at 12:34 PM Ouch! Sad but well presented JD, shoes and roses in tow. |
| Posted by Jeanne Marie Hoffman on 07/17/03 at 01:50 AM I agree, roses in tow is an excellent ending. The speaker's sadness shows through so much, yet no bitterness |
| Posted by Kate Demeree on 07/17/03 at 02:56 AM I can see why it would be published. The part about a box for every pair of shoes... blew me away, made me wonder if she hadn't been halfway out the door all along. |
| Posted by Max Bouillet on 07/21/03 at 04:04 PM Tremendous scene depiction and wonderful use of language. Great poem. |
| Posted by Brian Francis on 07/30/03 at 10:44 PM Good one. I can see it all in my minds eye.
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| Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 11/17/07 at 06:33 AM There's a special vulnerability, comversational quality, intimacy in the tone of this poem.
The first line establishes that immediacy, as if you were speaking to a friend. The second two lines
--one wonders whose heart is 'broken", ansd what exactly does "this one" mean. Then the third stanza has an intimacy, as the "excuses" "dragged out" (double meaning--in the sense of bringing them out of oneself, (or her) and also an extented consideration of them.) --The "draped them" is so visual, and luscious even (perhaps of other drapings on this bed) --and then that "each one fit her like a sack" such a disappointment-- (hee hee maybe there were 46 excuses?--but we are getting ahead of ourselves)--(and also--are they the excuses you make up to rationalize her actions or the ones she's tried to give you...) In any case the fact that all her walking (and dancing?) "shoes" all 46 (wonder if that is her age? --well it might mean something...) are in "boxes" suggests a compartmentalization quite different from your vibrant expansiveness shows(shoes) me you are quite different. I also wonder does she really have 47 pairs... and leave with an empty box? Or did she leave barefoot? (not likely for a shoe lover) The fact that they are shoes-- and she is walking out is significant. The fact that we are talking about "pair"s is significant too... hee hee (at least she appreciated some kind of matchmaking.) The end of the poem is similar in tone to the first line. Vulberable... and the fact that she must have like "flowers" gives one a feeling that there is a softness there. Her silence is significant and palpable and the fact that you have given her "roses" significant as the most symbolic of flowers... no bouquet of daisies... you "really tried". "Roses in tow" is an intricate construction... unusual, and thought provoking.. it has a witty and even slightly sarcastic overtone... when one imagines such a thing... one carries roses, holds them, but to have them "in tow" has a pungency. (Also "rose" is a rising word, not a falling one, the pharase has "in to" contained in it and even echoes toe(s) that go in her shoes.. as she wals out... ah I have no excuses for her... she does not know how precious a bloom she has been offered. She could not have deserved you...
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