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Candy Bars
by Charles M HarrisonI met my buddy Reese's, he was all in Pieces
it seems his son ran off with his nieces.
We went to the Bar None on 5th Avenue
just so we could have something to do.
The 3 Musketeers were there looking for Sugar Babies
those guys are jerks, and are hated by the ladies.
They promise the Milky Way and say they will make a Starburst,
then they grab their Mounds, after that it gets worse.
They think with their Tootsie Roll and not with their head,
all they want is a little Almond Joy in bed.
Baby Ruth was there with her friend Melo Cup
they sat down to find out what was up.
They told us about Mars, lead singer for the M&M's,
he was in a fight and got kicked in his Peanuts again.
We all heard the Snickers when Cow Tails came in
she was looking for her Sugar Daddy, he had left her again.
Hershey came by and gave us all Kisses
I thought back to the time when she was my misses.
I caught her one night with Mr. Goodbar
he ran out the door and took off in his car.
I tried to catch up with that Zagnut
to give him a swift kick in the butt.
I felt like a Zero when I found them that way
but it was not long after that I found my Payday.
We were over at Goobers when I met Mary Jane
I can tell you she's anything but plain.
She's got great Whoppers and can make my Nestle Crunch
I have to admit I love her a bunch.
Oh Henry sat down with his girl Kit Kat
he's one cool guy who knows where it's at.
He lives in York with Peppermint Patty and her friend Twix,
that is one girl who is always looking for a fix.
Caramello announced the event of the night
as the stage was lit by a giant spotlight.
A battle of the bands with Bit o' Honey and the Raisinets
going for broke and taking all bets.
Also playing were Whatchamacallit and the Skittles band
those guys are Nutrageous and can dance the can-can.
The Turtles were there to also sing
Now or Later was their song with a reggae theme.
100 Grand to the best of the three
chosen by all who could hear and see.
I watched as my buddy Milk Duds tried to Skor
but he had no chance cause he's such a bore
He spilled his drink on me, he's a real Butterfinger
so I had to leave or the stain would linger.
I hailed a Mentos to head home to bed
about this night I guess enough's been said. 06/26/2002 Posted on 06/26/2002
Copyright © 2024 Charles M Harrison
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Junemarie Roldan on 07/26/06 at 09:21 PM OMG, this could be dangerous for a candy freak. I'm out the door now to get me some. Oh before I go, I've got to say, this is one sweet and tasty piece. Loved it. |
| Posted by Charles E Minshall on 07/26/06 at 10:50 PM Funtastic Chas. Some sweet writing....Charlie
( Goes in my favorites list.) |
| Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 07/26/06 at 11:32 PM LOL, Charles. My M&M's had a good laugh over this one. Thanks for lightening my day. |
| Posted by J. P. Davies on 07/27/06 at 02:39 AM Sweet. |
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 07/27/06 at 04:06 AM I may not eat candy, but this is hysterical. Wonderful and I agree with Wendy - POTD for sure!
~Chelle~ |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 07/27/06 at 06:49 PM bwahahahahahahaha!!!! Well done! too much fun to read! |
| Posted by Sandy M. Humphrey on 07/27/06 at 08:46 PM I think the boys in the ad biz could learn a thing or two from you, not only was this fun, sweet and breezy, it could sell. Could use a little sweet myself right now. smh |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 08/01/06 at 04:25 PM Hilarious combination of human sexuality and candy commercilism. Way to go Charles on POTD! |
| Posted by Charles E Minshall on 08/01/06 at 05:42 PM Congratulations on poem of the day Chas....Charlie |
| Posted by Lauren Singer on 08/01/06 at 10:53 PM i feel like i read this quite a long time ago. i love it. the tone, the humor. it's great! reminds me of something written by hubert selby, jr... only with candy. :) |
| Posted by David R Spellman on 08/02/06 at 02:12 AM Congrats on POTD with this gem! A delightful read and one worthy of the choice. You could really sink your teeth into this one - the twists and turns and humor are Good & Plenty! |
| Posted by Jean Mollett on 08/02/06 at 03:14 AM Hi Charles,
Love it, cute and really funny. Oh what an imagination and a little naughty. About candy. Who woulda thunk? Great work. It's a big hit with everyone. I added it to my favorites list. |
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