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The Journal of Angel J McRae

Sometimes I think of you
12/17/2021 07:09 a.m.
When this song comes on….
Because if the world was ending you’d come over right,right?
I am listening to JP Saxe & Julia Michael’s - I

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I'd like to sleep now
03/17/2011 05:20 a.m.
because depressed people sleep more, but I keep having nightmares and wake up and have you hold me back to sleep. You probably don't even know it.
How much longer this continues is undetermined...undecided

When they woke you up you said you were so happy it was me there....and it didn't seem like it was the drugs talking, but I'm naive.
It's the least I can do...but I can't write yet
I am listening to Simple Math

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I am
08/16/2010 01:29 a.m.
I am currently Empty

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It's 11:11
08/09/2010 03:30 a.m.
Make a wish.... can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now, wish right now....
I wish I could sing, or that I had an undeniable talent at something that made me feel incredible. I don't care if it didn't make me much money, but I want to find the thing in this life (since I'm starting to believe it may be all we have) that completes me.

Side note
Ugh.....I hate the smell a candle gives off after being blown out

I want to be certain of something, and have it be true. I want to keep wanting what I want and have it want me too, and I want that to keep going and to be true.
I am currently Devoted
I am listening to I Dream A Dream....

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Another monumental accomplishment
07/25/2008 04:36 a.m.
I don't want to sleep. And my mind slips back on the last day of eight grade, thinking its all over and it's just begun. I didn't even feel that strongly after high school...will I now?

We said our goodbyes, and I can't cry
I can't let it come out just yet
Because it's not real, you're not gone
You're never gone, in the corridors of my mind
And all the crevices of my dreams
You stay.
I am currently Nostalgic
I am listening to I can't make you love me...if you don't

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Happiness hides in ipods
05/18/2007 03:29 a.m.
This page needs filling...and espaol needs studying...and this music is soothing to my head. Hmm where to begin, when to end? I'm a full-time school goer, business profesional, non-club hopper, and a rad lil gal. Ok and definately corney and very blahh. I feel like I don't have that mellow time to sit and think and interpret my life in pen to paper simplicity. I just want to sit outside and stare for hours, because I can. And look around thinking everthing is so beautiful, and it's hard to stay mad, and wishing I could somehow write and swing at the same time. I haven't felt my face wisped with wind in months..haven't felt that rush of going too high too fast, when my heart feels like it takes a second to catch up with the rest of my body. I should take this time to contemplate how I feel and what I want, and how I wish things would just go smoothly for longer than a month. I don't want to be let down again, but honestly, I'm not too sure it would really change much, because I'm not proactive, I'm barely even reactive. I'm the rollover, the walkon, and the quiet wispers. whoa, deja vue, egh I kinda enjoy that feeling of oh this is soo familiar and I just want to figure it...egh. So I'll secretly file this moment away with the other items I've rat packed through the years, I can't let go. Ouu lil beat, nice tune, all happy giddy like...mm and your smile when you look my way.
I am currently Somber
I am listening to Keanne

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I thought if I could keep you guessing
01/07/2007 09:00 p.m.
One day left of Winter Break, two days left for underage drinking, and who knows how many days till I get to have it all again. But I'm taking a break. Starting next week my full scheduled days will keep me busy, my weekends will be spent being productive and catching up on the sleep and writing I've been missing for some time now. And then maybe things will drift back into place, not sure exactly what place but somewhere other than stuck in limbo(as Schmo calls it for him). So....cleaning and Christmas unpacking still waiting to be done....yup, here I come busy.
I am currently Upbeat
I am listening to The Ferris Theme Song- chick chicka chicka

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It's another year...
01/03/2007 03:35 a.m.
My New Years Resolution:
To be more...

But realistically I should be more specific, but this isn't a private space(not that I mind much now-a-days) But lets think in terms of things I know need to be done before bettering myself as a person: going to school everynight, starting my 401k, keeping my apartment clean, continue learning to cook more things, and all that good stuff. And once I take those baby steps, I'm going to be that better Jennifer.

But other than that I'm almost 21 :woo: and my New Years was pretty much incredible!! 3.2.1....CRACK!

I am currently Refreshed
I am listening to My baby don't mess around because she loves this song(cell ring)

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I guess you could say it's my fault
12/26/2006 03:33 a.m.
that the question came my way. And I'm in no way angry or upset, but it's a little egh...sad, but my own fault.

So yeah, Christmas~I need to not look at holidays and special days as something great to expect. Because there's nothing wrong with today, went fine and dandy. But I'm always left wanting more. I hate the winter months, because I want to love them so much. I want the crisp cool breezes to carry cinnamon clouds to my nose, so I can inhale and breathe in the merryness. And then it's New Years, full of exciting events and party streamers and fresh starts with new beginnings for everyone. Then my birthday, and it' really another year. I'm afraid I'm going to grow up too quickly to get everything I want to accomplish and do in this life. And further more, I'm terrified that I won't ever figure it out first. Sometimes I'm so sure of what I want, but unsure of if it's right. I want to make all o the mistakes to get to where I'm going, but it's always going to be difficult; because, even if I make up my mind, it doesn't always work my way. Bleh, I'm just gonna let it flow, let it go. Let the mistakes happen as they may. And all I'm really wanting, is to be that person. That's what I want for Christmas, for my New Year, for my birthday....to let go.
I am currently Calm
I am listening to Firecrackers

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I love the cold weather
12/08/2006 04:27 a.m.
The windows open, the cold breezes through, and my head clears of worries. And this moment is still, and fine, and left open for possibilities. The funny way things come together, and the way the pull apart, life still is brilliantly screwed up. And I wouldn't be content with it any other way (or at least I'm accepting it, haha)
I am currently Calm
I am listening to Secondhand Serenade

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