I guess you could say it's my fault
12/26/2006 03:33 a.m.
that the question came my way. And I'm in no way angry or upset, but it's a little egh...sad, but my own fault.

So yeah, Christmas~I need to not look at holidays and special days as something great to expect. Because there's nothing wrong with today, went fine and dandy. But I'm always left wanting more. I hate the winter months, because I want to love them so much. I want the crisp cool breezes to carry cinnamon clouds to my nose, so I can inhale and breathe in the merryness. And then it's New Years, full of exciting events and party streamers and fresh starts with new beginnings for everyone. Then my birthday, and it' really another year. I'm afraid I'm going to grow up too quickly to get everything I want to accomplish and do in this life. And further more, I'm terrified that I won't ever figure it out first. Sometimes I'm so sure of what I want, but unsure of if it's right. I want to make all o the mistakes to get to where I'm going, but it's always going to be difficult; because, even if I make up my mind, it doesn't always work my way. Bleh, I'm just gonna let it flow, let it go. Let the mistakes happen as they may. And all I'm really wanting, is to be that person. That's what I want for Christmas, for my New Year, for my birthday....to let go.
I am currently Calm
I am listening to Firecrackers