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by Maria Kintner

We intertwine, with a distance between us;
waves lapping against shores we don’t even see.

I pretend I don’t wait for you
to send your farewells everyday,
but also eventually for the last time.

Last night’s storm brought me a revelation;
a peek inside a story I was not a part of,
but still along for the ride.

Everything you want is never enough.

You think my pretty eyes are blind to the most hidden things.
There is nothing I hate more than to be underestimated,
coddled, patronized.

But now it's like an addiction.
Cobalt blue and poison, a dosage I can’t stop taking.
Who are you to remind me of things that form knives
in my soul and cut their way out of my skin?

I am neither butterfly nor moth.
You can keep your lights on all night,
but I’m not going to wait by your door.
I do not fit in your jars.
I cannot be caught by your hands.

My own ocean is deeper than any sea.
I have battled storms worse than your horizon.
Do not dare to swim if you won't get lost to find me.


Author's Note: You asked me once, if I would ever write poetry for you. I had to wait until you were important enough to break my heart before I could. Congratulations.

Posted on 04/07/2020
Copyright © 2023 Maria Kintner

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Glenn Currier on 04/08/20 at 03:59 PM

You saved the best til last - that final stanza speaks so much depth. It could be a poem in itself. The last line is a hard truth for those who dare to truly love. I have to be willing to lose my self if I want real intimacy and a committed love. This swim is a daily if not a minute by minute effort, I think. Thank you Maria.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 04/08/20 at 06:46 PM

Nicely put, Maria.

Posted by Rob Littler on 04/23/20 at 10:34 AM

I have never met a broken heart that did not want to somehow be broken. But mostly, and often it the slow motion--frame by frame--breaking that is itself the addiction. And isn't the only way to live with being underestimated merely to live knowing one day the Estimator will have a jaw drop to the floor.

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