Somehow, the blue skies of youth
Were never this clear or bright.
There were always clouds on the horizon,
But now I know it is no more than
The curve of the world, which has always
Kept on turning, despite everything.

Without me noticing, the future I feared
Became a past I survived and a present
I enjoy, a place where I am finally,
Actually happy: a state that found me
While I looked the other way.

It is one of those old certainties that
I talked myself out of, but that still
Turned out to be right: they were not
The best years of my life. As I lived them,
I knew they could not be, and yet
Everything managed to become even worse,
My energies leaking ever more quickly from
The expanding hole in my heart.

So I imagined a new future,
I invented a fantasy world into which
I attempted to shape reality,
Carving the shape and smoothing the edges
With such single minded concentration
That I did not notice how small
It became, how little of me
Was left in my life.

But now, at last, I am growing
Again. It is not the usual cliché:
Being young never felt like this,
So full of possibilities, so carefree.
At last, life is not something to be
Endured, but something to enjoy,
To celebrate, to be thankful for.

There is no horizon: only
The curve of the world, which is
Endless, edgeless, infinitely larger
Than even the biggest, bluest skies.

04/13/2019

Posted on 04/25/2019
Copyright © 2024 Richard Vince