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New Ways

by Ame Ai

Before, I was filled with enthusiasm,
but it wasn't until we were apart that I was truly excited
to see you,
thrilled to win you over.
But when I won,
it felt like a loss.
The rush rushed away.
My anticipation became sarcastic
due to a male kind of double-speak.
My drive became empty,
and yours did too.
I was fueled by leftover emotions.
We were entirely different people,
though inherently the same people
we didn't see in each other.
We fell into a downward trend of lower highs,
and though I felt my heart become misty-eyed
when you spoke after my sexy emotional persuasion,
I still didn't feel clear
on what part of me you saw,
or on what part of you you thought I knew, if I ever did.
Is our situation ironic? Did God play a cruel joke,
that sick bastard with no parent to speak of.
No, we were appropriately matched.
We were both appropriately uncomfortable
with how to proceed.
I told you what I sought.
I yearned for emotional stability.
You accepted the challenge,
but we fell into our new ways.


Posted on 04/27/2018
Copyright © 2021 Ame Ai

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by John Herzog on 05/11/18 at 07:22 PM

Been there more often than I'd like, and you captured that feeling brilliantly.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 05/13/18 at 04:38 PM

Hmmm...sounds like a lot of relationships. My own few experiences have taught me best not to complicate a simple thing. Thanks for the well worded reminder, Ame.

Posted by Glenn Currier on 05/15/18 at 10:56 AM

The first half of your poem was especially interesting to me. It reminds me of the dance of courtship and early relationship when the two are alert, eager to please, caring what each thinks of the other. But after that moment when trust settles in and I can be the real me, warts and all, I show my darkness without realizing it and she shows hers. And we both feel the first stirrings of disillusionment - that stage in all relationships when our humanity emerges. Flaws reveal themselves. And then... the real adventure begins. Thanks so much for this lovely and revealing piece. It occurs to me that poetry allows us to "undress in front of each other." Thank you for trusting us.

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