Home   Home

It works for now.

by Johnny Crimson

The language tools
were an inch or two off
from ever hitting
their effectiveness mark;
and every scent,
and magnitude of the scope
was downgraded substantially
from a noose to a rope.

Yet here we hang
in this catch em' all disease
with our fingers on the trigger
as the bullets sleep in peace.

For only they know
when they'll be needed,
much unlike ourselves
as we press through the pain
with our sense of caution depleted.

But in that downtrodden sediment
of concrete and perfume,
I wipe my teeth with her soft skin
and forget about the gloom.


Posted on 12/04/2017
Copyright © 2018 Johnny Crimson

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 12/04/17 at 04:27 PM

I do believe you get better and better.

Posted by Brian Francis on 12/04/17 at 06:47 PM

Your flow and diction are quite impressive in this piece. Great write --bf

Posted by Rob Littler on 12/05/17 at 04:20 AM

...the more I read it the more the character's voice changes for me in my head...first pass had me hearing self-deprecation in the first parts and "we" became a critique of a relationship... then I saw a societal/political commentary and the flesh as the escape...all this on top of the fact that I like to read it out loud. Plus, you made me log in to write this glorification.

Posted by George Hoerner on 12/05/17 at 10:12 PM

This really struck a cord in my in mind or what is left of it. Nicely done.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/17/17 at 02:08 PM

Really like the juxtaposition of words, images, and meanings here. Quite original Johnny.

Posted by Olivia Weinkein on 02/14/18 at 03:11 AM

from a noose to a rope... I just love this. All of it.

Return to the Previous Page

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 1 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2018 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)