4 Walls by Sam RobertsSleep deprived
I am a drifter
A wanderer written slit palm, twister
Pulsing, my thick and thinning skin
To the pen pondering blocked brain ring
The hum drum split ear festering
Spins my spine, neck jerk rhymes
Squeeze, release, relentless pulling
In a ticking rhythmic verse that my body needs protecting
Muscles and musings of a failed flat birth
I wince at the curse
Of this monotonous earth
Lying alone
I sync with the tension
Anxiety will hear my ticking sensation. 02/02/2014 Posted on 02/02/2014 Copyright © 2024 Sam Roberts
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 02/03/14 at 02:08 AM "I wince at the curse
Of this monotonous earth" - great lines. This piece keeps my mind moving and squirming - you've created unending tension very well.
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Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 02/04/14 at 12:43 AM As someone who suffers from bouts of insomnia and anxiety, I can certainly relate to this piece. Nicely summed up in the title, stark and disturbing. Not sure I understand that last line though, as anxiety usually makes the ticking louder, but that's just me. Great rhyming and alliteration throughout. :) |
Posted by Laura Doom on 02/04/14 at 06:47 PM Somatic dissonance--I like the emphasis on rhythm here, sporadic, disintegrated--the agony of antagonism and the way it operates on disruption of rhyme and alliteration/assonance/consonance. I am appositely disturbed... |
Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 02/05/14 at 12:29 AM Effective use of alliteration. I concur with the other comments though I fortunately am not an insomniac. An occasional sleepless night makes me very sympathetic to those who are. |
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