11 steps to a better body

by Gabriel Ricard

If you’re in the market to be impressed
by something I’ve done lately,
it might interest you to know
that I just needed a whole 48 hours
to start and finish a pack of cigarettes.

I’ve gone most of this year,
without separating myself from the balcony
on the fourth floor,
and learning all 11 steps to a better body,
before I make my way into the first
of the five neatly-stacked layers of cars
that are waiting for me to descend.

Yeah I’ve been distant. Yeah.
My mind gets as far as collecting
four or five charming stars
from the plans I made
when compromised affluence was scarce.

And then someone takes off their clothes.
Or I can’t get to sleep at night.
Or the sound of airplanes turns me into
a drooling mess of greed for busywork.

And I hold off on making you be the bad guy again
for another week.

But so many of us are playing roulette
with doctor’s suggestions these days,
that this kind of thing was bound to happen.

Let’s keep the surprises innocent, simple.
You can just be discreetly proud of me
anytime you’re good to go.

I won’t even take it as a sign
that somebody loves me more
than I would probably be willing to stand.

You know,
were it true.


Posted on 11/06/2013
Copyright © 2022 Gabriel Ricard

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 11/06/13 at 10:28 PM

Entertaining as always, Gabby. Fun twist to the 12 step philosophy. Good to read you again!

Posted by Steve Michaels on 12/06/13 at 04:49 AM

An intriguing and enjoyable ride from beginning to end. :)

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 02/07/14 at 03:32 PM

Congrats on POTD! Have missed you lately.

Posted by George Hoerner on 02/07/14 at 06:21 PM

Congratulations on POTD for your poem '11 steps to a better body'. And nicely done also.

Posted by Johnny Crimson on 02/10/14 at 06:45 PM

Fantastic...hey, get off that balcony will ya, we've got work to do bud!

Posted by Gail Wolper on 02/11/14 at 04:33 AM

Love the ironic angle, this is a great job and strong

Return to the Previous Page

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2022 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)