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Involuntary ejaculation
by Laura DoomYes, I took some protection with me;
a girl wants to avoid getting into
that kind of trouble on a first date.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you how
predictably combustible these spontaneous
events can be as they're played out.
The conversation was unexceptional,
fruitless, going nowhere but into the gutter,
serving a purpose, consumed without relish, but
spiced with innuendo and garnished with flattery
that promised nothing but the earth
and threatened to turn wine to water.
Rather than succumbing to indifference, I asked:
"How do you feel about non-consensual sex?"
"Are you serious?", he laughed, his eyes dancing.
"I try not to be, but in this instance
I think you can assume I am." In retrospect,
I realize my question should have been:
"How does non-consensual sex make you feel?"
"Well, I don't think I'd be alone in admitting
it's something I fantasize about; or rather
think about, occasionally. I guess it's the product
of a healthy imagination, nothing more. I mean
there are considerations; I have responsibilities
and I take them seriously - my work, the children,
keeping fit, healthy and everybody happy;
the usual suspects. So, naturally, I'd never
actually act upon those impulses. Unless
of course it was obvious that you were up for it.
Which would be kind of cool - I mean,
you are kind of special."
I laughed so hard, I lost control; my hands
were shaking and, well, one thing led to another,
safety was off, an involuntary twitch
and I shot him straight through the hole
where his heart should have been.
He didn't put up any kind of resistance, just
lay there staring at the ceiling. I thought "Oh,
that's ok, implied consent", and then walked out,
but only after leaving a fuck-off tip,
which I felt was more than appropriate
in the circumstances.
Not all bad news though - I now have
all the time in the world to reflect
on my fantasy date. 03/28/2013 Author's Note: Edited - 2022.
Having reviewed this, I realize the original version failed to reflect that there are more questions than answers here.
Time & distance - what can I say?
Posted on 03/28/2013
Copyright © 2024 Laura Doom
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 03/30/13 at 11:11 PM Excellent prose. It's like a Quentin Tarantino movie...only better. |
| Posted by Paul Lastovica on 04/01/13 at 08:49 PM all I hear in my head after reading this is "another one bites the dust" |
| Posted by Johnny Crimson on 04/02/13 at 11:01 AM Smiles all the way down to his ....turns to a frown, then fear sets in. Loved this. |
| Posted by Angela Stevens on 04/02/13 at 09:56 PM Is it bad that I am smirking?! I feel like I've been slapped with words. |
| Posted by Bertram Sparagmos on 04/05/13 at 07:20 AM Fet?... Alt?... Ring a bell? |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 04/09/13 at 02:33 AM I laugh every time I re-read this. Have pen with sharp teeth, that's our Ms. Doom. |
| Posted by Angela Stevens on 04/09/13 at 06:01 PM Yes, re-read it. I definitely want to add it to my favourites list. I want poems to invoke something within me (even if it's not what the poet intended; I am selfish and take what I want! eek). You have left an impression regardless. Please keep writing! |
| Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 05/13/13 at 03:35 AM Word $#%@ing up. |
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