you heard all about it -
it's all of the talk -
you saved 'til you had enough cash
then you planned your big buy
and you sped to the store
so amped up you developed a rash.

you loaded it up
and you brought it straight home
and you tore it right out of its bag.
but the thing doesn't do
what you thought it would do -
it zigs
when you want it to zag.

you read the directions,
you googled, you binged,
you even called up your old dad -
but it still doesn't do
what you thought it would do -
it still zigs
when you want it to zag.

so you went to the store
and you asked for some help -
you explained that their product has lagged -
but the clerk simply smiled as she patiently said,
"it's a zigger - it's not meant to zag."

now, you've always been perfectly patient and calm -
and you're certain the shop girl meant well,
but there's only so much a consumer can take,
so you blew her directly to hell.

and you knew it was wrong
and you knew you would pay
and you knew you would likely regret this day

but the thing wouldn't zag -
it was clearly a zigger
so you smiled and you aimed
and you pulled the trigger

and you thought to yourself as she bled and she gagged
this would all have been fine if the thing had just zagged.

11/18/2012

Posted on 11/19/2012
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