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While stomping around in the desert
by Glenn CurrierI was stomping around
out in the desert the other day
avoiding the cactus
lost in doubt
wondering if there was a god
who would help me avoid
binging on the delectables
that promise rewards
I think I deserve
and need.
I can step into that desert
at any moment:
two hours after I have prayed
or read Rumi, Rohr, or Thomas Moore,
believed their visions
and felt a smidgen of their ecstasy,
or ten minutes after orgasm
the naked leg of my lover touching me
and I feel sad and lonely.
The doubts
the aloneness
creep up like flood waters at night
eroding months or years
of confidence, and tranquility,
two hundred mornings begun with "Dear God..."
that I thought
were well-rooted in me.
Then at a funeral the other day
the preacher reminded us of the 23rd psalm
and I knew that God was right there in that place
in the mourners
and would deliver us from our grief
or at least hold us as we walked through it.
I remembered what a sage once told us,
my wife and I
as we struggled through a rough time:
Love is a decision.
I must choose belief and acceptance
as surely as I must choose my beloved.
What harm will it do to believe
that goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
that he prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies?
Next time I stumble into that desert
I hope I can remember
to look for my loves, writers and poets
to encourage, challenge, and inspire me.
I hope I can make my way into their presence,
sit a while
and listen. 08/01/2012 Posted on 08/01/2012
Copyright © 2024 Glenn Currier
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by George Hoerner on 08/01/12 at 06:31 PM Well Glenn, hopefully you have a while to hang around. And you seem to have something to believe in. I just hope I been the atoms of my friends somewhere in the universe. |
| Posted by Alison McKenzie on 08/01/12 at 11:52 PM Glenn, thinking of you ever feeling that way, the lonely part, knocks hard on my heart's door! I would that you NEVER feel that way. I love what the sage told you and your wife, that love is a decision. At least, it's always boiled down to that truth when the going gets tough. We DO have choice! It isn't always easy. But there is the satisfaction of looking back and knowing you snuggled through it. :))) |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 08/03/12 at 12:43 AM Epic emotion...empression...expertly reduced to a single page. Nice one one, Glenn. Among so many other parts, I especially loved these lines: two hours after I have prayed
or read Rumi, Rohr, or Thomas Moore,
believed their visions. All, Very Jim Morrision. A privilege and honour to read you...as always. |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 08/03/12 at 12:45 AM Oops...sory, that third word should have been expression. |
| Posted by Amie Golda on 08/06/12 at 10:15 AM I love the taste of this though it is quite sad. Tone, language and form all fit well with the sentiment, not too hard to understand for anyone who is human. Your humanity shows wonderfully here...congrats! |
| Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 08/06/12 at 06:50 PM The "desert fathers" of many centuries past knew what they could find there...that spirituality a mystic in the city may never find. Very special poem...thanks for bringing it to light, or better, to enlightenment. Thanks. |
| Posted by Joe David on 08/22/12 at 06:10 PM Here is one I can almost totally identify with. so much of our experience is similar, the ups and the downs, the believing and the not, the ecstasy and the lonely sad. Yes we both know that love is a decision and so what good does it do us to know it if we can't make the decision to do it. You have nailed this just about perfectly. We can only hope that it is two steps forward and one back and not the other way around. Love you Brother. |
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