You say you wished I'd forgive you

that you always thought of me as a friend

that the passing night wouldn't frown upon us all

and all that you believed in wouldn't just end


cuz you're my friend



but it never did such end


the night doesn't frown upon friends

like us so


like us so

cuz I love you so


and I never meant to impart such heartbreak



you say



your heart was too young

to endure



oh, those years

and the tears alone


you know I never meant to cause you this pain

your mother and I weren't

much as friends

we were more enemies at heart

more than nothing apart


And I know I left you alone in the dark

they say it is easier this way

but my heart tells me their wrong

and I was so alone without a song



it's what I've done before

inspite of my mistakes



When all you wanted was to feel

you belonged


inspite of it all

I hurt you again

and I'm so sorry my love


I loved you though I couldn't say where I've been


and now I know I let you down again

so I wish I could change this night

change it all


change it all like it might not have rained

and then all would have been alright


and I wish I could have changed the past

cuz I love you so

but I know you would never forgive me

again


when all you wished were to believe in a friend

and all you'd seen wasn't then



but you should know


Well I once wished you were here

and so I started to tear

the years were so hard without you again

but that never happened without me

alone without you



now you don't know


but you think to yourself


that you wished I'd been here

cuz you weren't at all fault

then all the excuses I once told myself

weren't much but lies


and now I know the truth

behind my own lies


and then I know your truth


your truth is you had better things to do

than to be with me



and so you wished me away, as a Dad,



and I can't blame it all

as you wished me away the same


and I realize I am as afraid as I might be as real

but I will shout it out as my daughter the same


I am sorry for it all

though I know it's not enough

but


You wished me away, the same


cuz you are afraid I might be as real

as real as a man that is so selfish

he'd forget his own daughter


but,


for just one lonesome time

if only I could cause myself as much pain

I'd take it all back

just to see you smile back at me once again


and your eyes wouldn't look at me

as if to ask why



when all you wished were to believe in a friend

and all you'd seen wasn't then




but you should know


that I'm hurting more than I

can let you know


If only you could believe


I'm sorry


for breaking your heart
so young
once and more

and again

01/11/2012

Author's Note: My biological father...what he might have said had he done so...I will never understand why he left me alone

Posted on 01/12/2012
Copyright © 2024 Lori Blair