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Telepathy on a Bike Path
by Alison McKenzieI could see her walking
Way ahead of me,
Her perfectly styled,
Long blonde hair
Bouncing ever so precisely
In rhythm with her
Absolutely adorable feet.
She was wearing her work apron,
Which only served to highlight
The goddess curves of her ass
As she hurried along.
This was my inner voice,
Scoffing, as I
Whizzed past her on my
Circa 1950 Schwinn Cruiser.
But then,
The oddest of things happened.
As I passed, I swear
I heard HER thoughts –
And they went a little something
Like this:
“Look at the way that big, fat girl
Just rides that bike
Like no one can see her
Big, fat ass pouring over
The sides of the saddle!
And her face, no makeup!
(Ooooh, but her cheeks are rosie)
And….is she?...I think she is….
She’s SWEATING, for God’s sakes.”
She looks at her watch.
“Damn, 10 minutes before
My shift starts.
I’ll never make it.”
She steps up the pace,
Worried that she’ll have
A hair out of place all day.
“I wonder where SHE works.
I’ll bet SHE’s not going to be late.
Hmmmm. I wonder
What it would feel like
To be so ugly that you don’t care
Who sees you or who doesn’t,
To be able to sweat without remorse,
And to have so much power in your legs
That you can peddle a 1-speed
All the way to work and back
TWICE in the time it takes me
To walk to work once. …
Damn, I’m gonna be late.
I wish I had a bike…”
It was definitely worth a giggle,
My inner telepathy,
And I swear I cut five minutes
Off my best time!
06/28/2011 Author's Note: True story...heheh
Posted on 06/28/2011
Copyright © 2024 Alison McKenzie
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Glenn Currier on 06/28/11 at 04:15 PM My best chuckle of the day. The images capture my image-nation and take it hostage for those few precious yards on the path. How active we are in our ability to create thoughts in others. But you do it with such humor and skill - you completely disarm any potential for self pity. I just love this - thanks for the grin, Ali. |
| Posted by Mo Couts on 06/28/11 at 06:07 PM LMAO! Nice one, Ali, very nice. And...sometimes those inner dialogues we have truly do make our days, no? |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 06/28/11 at 08:53 PM I love it. The humor and voice come together beautifully. |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 06/29/11 at 10:25 AM ...grins on both you'uns...good read on peeps. |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 10/10/11 at 10:58 PM Fun read! ...Humourous. Great use of the conversational style. |
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