|
Stable
by Clara Mae GregoryStable the night.
It seems so well.
As the Daughters
and Sons
are turned and spun.
Like extant tops,
They slowed and fell.
Trapped in dreams
That came to them,
They yearn to be
spun again.
For the Daughters
And Sons,
This is their hell
In the Stable of night
That seemed so well.
03/04/2011
Author's Note: I like it, only I couldn't decide which tense I wanted for this line: "They yearn to be" or "They yearned to be"....I opted finally for the former. Any feedback on this would be appreciated.
Posted on 03/05/2011
Copyright © 2026 Clara Mae Gregory
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 03/05/11 at 03:33 PM Love the irony of the title compaed to the message in the poem's text. Has a certain darkness to it that works well in conveying the inspiration. I agree with your choice in regards to 'yearn' and 'yearned.' |
| Posted by Rhiannon Jones on 03/05/11 at 04:19 PM i agree about "yearn"...see my comment in your journal. Very interesting poem! Nice write. |
| Posted by Glenn Currier on 03/06/11 at 02:16 PM The meanings of the title are fascinating to apply to your thought-provoking piece. I get a feeling of foreboding as I read this... as if I am deluded by my feeling of security and should not be too comfortable with my comfort. Thanks for a great poem, Mel. |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 03/07/11 at 12:09 AM ...i am hesitant to add any changes; others might think to tread wisely. so many of these changes i've wondered about in my own work...there just IS no one who knows what better fits than you...it is such a heavy pome the tense is important to you and is frosting to us tasters. IMHO |
|
