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Beneath Abigail's Vegetable Patch

by Maria Francesca

Abby and Ann were brought into the world
late one dark Halloween night.
Their dad was so proud of his beautiful girls -
their mum was in love at first sight.

They were kind,
they were clever,
and bright as two stars -
their cheeks, oh, so lovely and pink.
their eyes were a-sparkle - azure reservoirs;
the world was enthralled in a wink.

The girls were angelic and wonderfully good -
Marvelous Ann and Sweet Abby -
and only did deeds that the nicest girls should -
well, except what they did to the tabby.

And yes, it was strange, how their playmates took ill
and how neighborhood dogs disappeared,
and how Nanny had such a disastrous spill -
one could find such coincidence weird.

But they grew up untainted, protected and pure -
with nary a worry or care,
and anyone watching was utterly sure
they were innocent - toenails to hair.

Well, it's years since the children matured into ladies
and bought a small cottage together;
it's actually decades - they're into their eighties -
their consciences light as two feathers

though they've buried eight husbands,
four lovers, twelve friends -
all gently but firmly dispatched -
and sent to a tasty, nutritious end
beneath Abigail's vegetable patch.





01/24/2011

Author's Note: Changed the title a little; the original sounded too sticky sweet.

Posted on 01/25/2011
Copyright © 2024 Maria Francesca

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/25/11 at 05:04 PM

Oh, this is wickedly scrumptious! I will not have tea with them today after all! ;) High points for rhyme, theme, and especially for keeping it subtly just behind the slyly creaking door.

Posted by E. A. Pugh on 01/25/11 at 08:17 PM

wonderfuly creepy!

Posted by Linda Fuller on 01/26/11 at 02:59 AM

From the title, I thought this was going to be a "cozy" - what a delightful surprise. I have to ask - are the ladies' names drawn from the erstwhile advice columnists, Ann and Abby Landers?

Posted by Scott Utley on 01/26/11 at 05:22 AM

At first I collapsed into this piece as if it were one of the poems I read in the New Yorker sometimes, and I was ready to be entertained ... but not by the spawn of Poe and Wilde's love child. Seamless. Wonderful work here.

Posted by Rhiannon Jones on 01/27/11 at 08:52 PM

Achchchch! Wonderful. I avoided reading this for several days because, like Linda, I'd anticipated something different based on the title. Glad I finally took a look. Very entertaining. :-)

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 01/29/11 at 12:21 AM

Laughing all the way to my grave. Excellent poem Maria...wonderful combination of humor and horror. Ghoulish but entertaining. ;o)

Posted by Kristine Briese on 01/30/11 at 08:32 PM

Gruesome yet gorgeous. Wonderful rhythm, and great for a laugh. Thanks!

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