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At last, I cried.
by E. A. Pugh
At last, I cried.
I cried for three minutes today because you died.
You died a week ago
But I did not cry.
Your body was tethered to the earth by the tears of others.
I had to wait to cry.
Your body was tethered to the earth by the tears of others.
I had to wait to cry.
I held you, as a baby boy in my arms.
The Tibetan Chod sent you to heaven.
in my arms. I held you as a chubby boy
But still I had to wait to cry.
Your body was still ashen clutches of loss,
ashen clutches of loss my hands did not hold.
I had to wait to cry.
I cried today for three minutes. Your ashes are scattered into earth
Into water into
Surprised sunlight.
You were a dangerous gift.
You taught me to fly.
My imperfect father has ascended.
I held him as a toddler before I let him go.
I had to wait to cry.
E.A.P. 10-31-09
08/22/2010 Author's Note: This was written for my father two weeks after he passed. I was unable to attend any service so I chose to go to a local Ashram for a Chod ceremony led by a visiting Tibetan monk, Alone I sat with the Buddhists in their ceremony the image that came to me as I listened to chanting in a language I did not understand-- holding my imagined father as a toddler, I gave him the love a mother would, it just seemed like the best time of his life to leave the world. At the end of the ceremony we all let our letting go Go
Posted on 08/22/2010
Copyright © 2024 E. A. Pugh
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 08/23/10 at 01:02 PM Some strange, compelling imagery flying around this thing, especially in that great beginning. I really like where it all seems to be heading by the end. |
| Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 12/22/10 at 01:15 PM I love the rhythm woven contextually with the repetition in this ode, tributary to what is or was or might have been, the reverberation of which do not peter out but are ever on the increase. |
| Posted by Timothy Wilson on 01/11/11 at 06:32 AM intense. I can feel the degree of overwhelming emotion that you (or anyone) would most likely feel in such a situation. It's saddening but in a good hurt way. keep up the good work. it's a wonderful feeling (for me atleast) to turn horrible things we're put through in life into beautiful constructive works of art or writing. |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/25/11 at 04:59 PM "Your body was tethered to the earth by the tears of others." - such a unique way of thinking about this.
"I had to wait to cry." - the repetition of this line is very powerful and surprised me that it affected me that way. There is a tension in this poem and a letting go and side-by-side they complete it very well. |
| Posted by Joan Serratelli on 02/13/11 at 01:10 AM very emotional, powerful write. I did cry |
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