{ pathetic.org }
 

If a lone flower

by Ariane Scott

on a green hill

were to cave
in one swift
straight plunge
pulled back to earth
by the buried fingers
of some ancient greed

would you fall to your knees
to lick the sink
claw the secret aperture
fist the fiery hope
with fervent eyes

or would you
slip to sleep upon that pit
speak of sturdy fates
and destined fades, whisper
we have all

we’re meant to have?

08/06/2010

Posted on 08/07/2010
Copyright © 2021 Ariane Scott

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Laura Doom on 08/07/10 at 04:35 PM

A question of content -- swallowtail vapour trail, follow in fervour from filament to fall, tongue-tied as always...

Posted by Jim Benz on 08/08/10 at 04:18 PM

If considered honestly, this question gets at the heart of most any reader's experience in life - if considered honestly, it stabs at the core of how we cope, or how we express frustrations, loss, our desire to never concede what is good to the whims of 'fate'. I'd almost like to see 'fierce' in place of 'fervent' because it would then feel even more primal, more unwilling to give in. Still, the answer to the question is usually found on a spectrum between the two extremes - the alternation between fervency and resignation. This poem sticks with me. I haven't been able to get it off my mind since I read it yesterday - probably because it rings so true without sacrificing the genuine complexity of its content. I like it, and its very well written.

Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 08/10/10 at 06:58 PM

A hell of a good question put forth in a hell of a good writing style. Nicely done.

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 08/12/10 at 03:56 PM

Everything about a person is in this question, and like Gabe wrote, fine writing style, and like Laura , swallowtail. And like Jim, this poem stays with me.

Yeah. Everything about a person is in this question. This eloquent poem.

Posted by George Hoerner on 08/13/10 at 09:26 PM

Yes, yes, a very fine poem indeed!

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 08/14/10 at 06:40 PM

Interesting poem, and I agree mostly with Jim's comment. At first "sink" sounded a bit out of place to me, but then I realized it works very well mentaphorically, considering the rest of the poem. Also quite haunting in the way you close off.

Posted by Linda Fuller on 08/26/10 at 02:27 PM

Indeed, quite a poem - congrats on POTD.

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 11/25/12 at 03:59 AM

I have been remiss in not exploring your library, foolish me. This provokes thoughts that disturb and poke - I like that a lot. Love the phrase - "ancient greed" - pushing and pulling at our long past within each of us. Thanks for this.

Return to the Previous Page
 

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2021 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)