by Marcus Lane
It's hard to see the point in it!
(Perhaps it's me)
A dismal afternoon of rain,
A flask of tea.
Beside this murky river now
They sit and wait,
So statuesque and silent
Clutching tins of bait.
All week in offices they sweat
With just one wish -
For Saturday come along
So they can fish.
And now beneath the willows' fringe
They bait their hooks,
Comparing rods and reels and lines
With envious looks.
The lines that fly from whizzing reels
Fall with a plip
And drift upon the surface
Where they bob and dip.
Till, with a jerk, a wriggling jewel
Is winched ashore
To have its bloody brains bashed out
Upon the floor.
Posted on 03/08/2010
Copyright © 2021 Marcus Lane
|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 03/09/10 at 12:01 AM|
This is an excellent poem in how it describes all that goes into fishing. Strong reminder also of my own youthful fishing days. I find it works even better for me in a positive way without that cuplet. Kudos!
|Posted by Bruce W Niedt on 03/10/10 at 01:02 AM|
Wow - I love the form of this and the brutally ironic last line. "...a wriggling jewel/is winched ashore..." - great line.
|Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 03/10/10 at 02:00 AM|
Loved the form, the rhyming is great and unforced, the theme is classic but you give it fresh imagery, and the ending takes the romance and gives it the boot. Thank you. Well done.
|Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 03/10/10 at 02:01 AM|
Oh, and the title is one with several grisly meanings. Excellent.
|Posted by Julie Adams on 03/14/10 at 10:29 PM|
wow, how ur bait and hook ur readers throughout this fab fishing poem, unflinching in rhyme and image to the very end, where you bring the brutal ending round like a mallet that we poor fish never saw coming...the calm before the storm, clever delivery...peace, jewels
|Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 08/25/13 at 04:13 AM|
Congrats on POTD!
|Posted by Monique Louw on 08/25/13 at 09:06 PM|
I enjoyed this... thank you.
|Posted by Gilly Wigley on 08/25/13 at 11:16 PM|
This is so great. I too don't see the point in it.