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I Met You Today

by Allison Smith

Standing 12 inches from me
Across to my right, arms folded with your head cocked dumbly to the side
And you’re looking at me
Your eyes are piercing through mine
Searching for a sign of recognition
But I give you nothing

You’re standing beside her
Her of the white wine and cigarettes
Her of the Saturday parties
Her of the trust and mistrust
The trust she stole from my veins when I was a child
I give her nothing

The moment is endless
3 animals trapped inside a cube of recollection
3 long lost souls of companion
3 people staring death in the face
But I give you nothing

I give you back all the years
The ones of love and friendship
The years we laughed
Our movies nights
I give you the bourbon and vodka
And I’ll take back my soul from you
The one you stole from me that July
When I was a child

I give you my nights in hospital
Spent with a bruised and cut face
Spent with injections and cruel eyes
Spent in a coma, lying naked on a table
I give you my mothers face
The one I saw when I regained consciousness
The face of a dead woman breathing

I give you the pills I take
To stop me carrying your child
The ones that make me vomit on myself
Because I am too weak to move
I give you the hurt inside my heart
The pain that never fades away
And I give you the friend I once had
The one I’m looking at now




I see how your eyes shift to the floor
Uncomfortable with the reminder of my existence
Of the life you stole from me in my 16th year
I see how your face contorts
As it searches for thoughts that can’t be found
And I look back at you
My eyes give you nothing

07/25/2009

Posted on 07/25/2009
Copyright © 2024 Allison Smith

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Alison McKenzie on 07/25/09 at 06:53 PM

This is one of those painful recollections that needs release, but then begs to be left alone for a season in the light before it's plowed over once again with time.

Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 07/26/09 at 01:30 AM

Wow, this is wonderful. Poetry can facet itself beautiful, from such apparent pain. And it is all in the eyes, what is seen, where they cast their look, what they refuse us. Beautiful. Thanks.

Posted by Kris Mara on 07/27/09 at 09:42 PM

this is filled with such great power...it's in more than just your words -- which are crafted so well, I couldn't stop reading if I tried -- but in your heart, your spirit overcoming and standing through it all...it's an inspiration...

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 09/22/09 at 11:49 AM

one cannot help but get caught up in the melancholy of this song which has me bowed and weeping at its sad altar.

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 01/20/10 at 06:26 PM

I am lost inside with this beautiful sadness. You are amazing, an amazing writer.

Posted by Glenn Currier on 07/03/10 at 02:26 AM

Thanks for this courageous and heartfelt manifesto of the victim - obviously from one who has felt the pain of many and caries at least some of it with compassion. Hard hitting and poignant. Excellent, Allison.

Posted by Mo Couts on 08/26/11 at 06:38 PM

Wow...this spoke to the darkest recesses of my being. What a write here, Allison.

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