Dear Dad
It's been 12 years now
since I've talked with you
a lot has happened
since I last saw you
You now have two 2 year old
great grandchildren; a girl and a boy
you would love them both
because without you
they would not exist

Mom had a chance to see them
and hold them
The last picture I have of her
is holding your great grandson
after he was just born
I look at it and talk to it
almost every day

Me? I'm fine
just trying to get better
but I would guess
that you already know that
I got sick right after you died
I don't think you could have been happy
seeing me deteriorate
as quickly as I did
it was very hard on Ma
and on the kids

But at least now
I feel better,
like there's hope
my doctor is very caring
and looks after me well
He seems to know me better
than I know myself
He's making me do things
I haven't done for years
He says that I'm too self-conscientious
and that I shouldn't care
what people think

So, I'm walking and reading
and going out in public
and trying to enjoy my life
instead of sitting in the house
and thinking and watching TV
I'm trying to do more
but it's hard
Vanity gets in the way
and I cry far too much
and think that people are staring
at me

Sometimes I just want to
crawl in a hole
and hide, but I can't
and I won't
let anybody
make me feel badly
just because my neck
is down

"Shorty" is ok
she's teaching school
and raising her little girl
she's a good mother

Your "little girlfriend"
is doing ok
she had a little boy

You would love them both
(just as you loved their Mothers)
your great-grandchildren are both
healthy and happy
and well adjusted

I can see you and Ma
when I look in their eyes
and yes, I cry
So, when we light the candle
and say the Kaddish
don't feel bad
when I cry

I promised to remember
and I did
to write this letter
to you

Dear Dad
I love you
very much
and even though it's been
twelve years, I still think about you
and cry
I think I always will
Your legacy will go on
I will always remember
all you did for me
G-d knows, I will always try

I would love to
write more
but I can't
I'm crying much too hard
and just can't find the words
to say
what I need to say

05/26/2009

Author's Note: My Dad passed away 12 years ago tomorrow. As a Jew, we light the candle the night before the "anniversary". As you can tell, I loved him very much.

Posted on 05/26/2009
Copyright © 2026 Joan Serratelli