I agree with David. I love the progression in this, where it starts and where it winds, and it's never once a boring ride.

Wow, this is a powerful act on the play of your life. Such efficiency with words in delivering a tale of love that turned to dust. I just hope you dwell on what you had and not what happened which can drive you mad! Excellent Alisa...

Good story telling poetics...clarity, Alisa. I once has dreams of rock superstardom too, but could never muster the abition to practice every day as a good musician should, and then yes, there were the diversions such as drugs. While in hospital cleaning out from speed and codeine, I met a rock musician who had burned out from the drugs and sex constantly needed and encountered while playing on the road. In a way it made me glad I hadn't persued my own dream. I know it wasn't meant to be humourous, but "the girls, everywhere, all the time in our bed!" immediately conjured up in my mind an hysterically funny vision of you about to climb into bed only to find 3 or 4 others girls already there with your boyfriend.

Alisa, a good example of what 'stardom' can do to people. Your imagery here is great, along with the emotions you slipped in there. Unease throughout the poem is probably what you were going for. It worked. A sad story ... well put to poetry.