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the heavy air i breathe

by Kyle Anne Kish

catch me on a good day
and i’ll buy you lunch
at the local café-
a walk in the sunshine.

many days the sun
does not shine on me
through closed shades-
reminiscent of my terror

here in my
prism-less prison
my thoughts flow
like snowflakes outside
where i fear to tread.

my therapist doesn’t believe
the perfect, talkative person
present in her office
is what she claims to be.

she tells me to get a job-
i’m a people person.

back home, i tip-toe
out to the curb
to retrieve a trash can
left there for weeks.

“get a job” rings
in my ears.

i turn off my telephone
cry quietly to my cat
hang up my perfect
outfit worn to the therapist

“get a job” rings
in my ears.

i'm a people person

... and I wonder
do my footprints
still show beneath
the drifted snow?

02/13/2007

Posted on 02/13/2007
Copyright © 2021 Kyle Anne Kish

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 02/13/07 at 06:37 PM

Flawlessly captured sadness.

Posted by A. Paige White on 02/13/07 at 06:48 PM

This reminded me of Don's "poetry is for losers" poem (awesome!). It's like you took it and proved him right. We all have those days the cafe is far too far away and the sun just won't shine from here to there. Recently I've wanted to turn off my phone, too (mainly to stop all the teenage girls calling though) and snuggle into quieted shadows... I hope you give your therapist's advice a chance. Great poem.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 02/13/07 at 07:20 PM

Believable capture of phobia or even Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You never know how well off you are until seeing what other people go through in their own minds. Fascinating!

Posted by Joan Serratelli on 02/13/07 at 08:33 PM

This piece is so good and so telling of how others see you as opposed to how you see yourself. Two dsifferent views of the very same person. This is excellent and a very interesting read- thanks for sharing!

Posted by Genevieve Sturrock on 02/14/07 at 04:03 AM

Joan said what i was going to say...great differing perspectives of the same person. as one who suffers from a crippling lack of confidence, i can actually relate to this one quite well.

Posted by Alisa Js on 02/15/07 at 05:40 PM

hmmmm.. great introspective piece here..

Posted by Rhonda Maneki on 02/15/07 at 08:58 PM

I'm left with agreeing with everyone - I love this work.

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