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Thoughts of a Reformed Fixer

by Sandy M. Humphrey

I used to freely give advice
In my opinion words of wisdom would flow
When others I cared for were headed for trouble
I automatically would go into rescue mode

No thought did I give if my help would be welcome
For another might not see themselves in need of a fix
Most issues are perspective and I am no expert
But still I did not fail to get into the mix

In the past I have exhausted all resources
Financially, physically and become emotionally void
To come to the aide of someone I deemed in need of
Only to fail or see all my efforts ignored

As a co-dependent I have now sought counsel
Already I have learned it to is a process of recovery
The journey I am now on is not a selfish one
But truly a quest of self-discovery

Loved ones and friends I do not control
To them I have limited responsibility
Opinions I will offer only when asked
Judgments are out of my ability

I am here to care and to love
Be the best me I know I can be
I will still be here if I am needed
The rescuer has let go, been set free


Posted on 05/13/2006
Copyright © 2020 Sandy M. Humphrey

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Ashok Sharda on 05/14/06 at 02:33 AM

Well, we cannot change our external but we can change our approach to life and others and this will initiate the change in our outlook. we shall feel more comfortable.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 05/14/06 at 07:31 PM

Words to live by for all "fixers," past, present, and future. Welcome to Pathetic. Your name sounds familar. Have you been a member here before? :o)

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 06/10/06 at 02:34 PM

Yes, most don't want to be fixed by others, which is really pretty freeing for ourselves when you think about it. Well written.

Posted by Joan Serratelli on 09/22/06 at 01:48 PM

It's hard not to try to help those we love. As a mother of 3 grown daughters, I have learned to "bite my tongue" until it bleeds. My Mantra has become: "If they want my help, they'll ask"...sometimes they actually do! I loved the last stanza. Excellently written and expressed. The last stanza said it all- loud and clear! Thank you for this piece!

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