|
Christmas Buffet or Chris Sorrenti came to my Christmas dinner.
by Mary Ellen Smith
Twas the night before Christmas and dinner was cooked.
The guests oooed and ahhhhed about how everything looked.
The turkey was perfect, browned to perfection
The table, Christmas fare in every direction.
Now Chris was invited, well or so he said
And he arrived with a Santa Hat on his head.
His face did look jolly, his face had a blush
But I figured was simply from all of the rush.
The guests all got their dishes and waited in line
Chris pulled up a chair to the buffet (which was fine)
He cornered the eggnog, the yams and some dishes
And was that a small growl as he said? These are Chris.
He drank all of the gravy I swear it is true
Then he ate and he ate till he almost turned blue.
He regaled us with stories of buffets in the past
And how he wished he could make all the holidays last.
He loosened his belt and unbuttoned his jeans
As he piled on his plate more of the casserole beans.
And as food dripped on his napkin and onto his shirt
He put his head up and asked, Whats for dessert?
Well I had done some fine baking of this and of that
The usual Christmas goodies, none were low fat.
I wheeled them all out on a garland draped cart
And Chris made a sign with his hands like a heart.
Now I dont mean to imply or to say he was rude.
He simply enjoyed himself with all of the food.
Dessert was his favorite, eggnog his best
And was that a button that popped off his vest?
The night came to an end with some wine and some song
The guests were all leaving, it wouldnt be long
Till Christmas would be here, till daylight would shine,
So Chris got a doggie bag and said These are mine.
Now poets I hear from far and from near
Write of the Sorrenti who dined with us here.
Hes become quite a legend in more counties than one
And you have to admit he knows how to have fun.
So if by some chance he shows up at your door
Be it Christmas or Easter, youll know what hes there for.
Put a chair by the buffet, you know, just for him And watch the legend fill up his plate to the brim.12/23/2005 Author's Note: Inspired by Chris Sorrenti's advice in the forums on how to enjoy the holidays.
Posted on 12/23/2005
Copyright © 2024 Mary Ellen Smith
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Maureen Glaude on 12/23/05 at 06:05 PM He he. What fun to find today. I must check that forum comment out. This poem certainly portrays
a different dinner guest from the Chris Sorrenti we've often hosted at our house over the years, or been fellow guests with at other friends.' Except to say he does love to unwind and certain foods, in moderation. And he would wear a Santa hat and rosy cheeks! He wears his New Year's hats every year. But this is so cool and neat. Can't wait til he sees it. Thanks for the smiles. |
| Posted by Maureen Glaude on 12/23/05 at 06:14 PM correction I should have said unwind and enjoy....and I know he loves his gravy, and especially when it's lump-free. On the flip side, he is quite the cook and host, summer or winter, but I don't think would like a guest too much like this, unless the guest pitched in too a litte. |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/23/05 at 08:55 PM ROTFLMAO. This is hysterical Mary Ellen. And here I thought my eating habits at Christmas were a carefully kept secret. HOHOHO! Santa Claus watch out, cause some abdominally wide competition is heading towards the North Pole. :o) |
| Posted by Diane Paley Davis on 12/23/05 at 10:22 PM Funny! I love it! A wonderful parody. I could read it over and over, and enjoy it every time. |
| Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 12/23/05 at 10:51 PM Terrific holiday poetry, Mary Ellen! Here's to you and your poetic guest! Cheers, of the Christmas type! |
| Posted by Paganini Jones on 12/23/05 at 11:37 PM LOL
Chris has a lot to answer for. And this is exactly how he led us all to believe he would behave at our parties! |
| Posted by Charles E Minshall on 12/24/05 at 01:27 AM Funtastic Mar.....Charlie (I guess that Chris mass must be really something after all the food.) |
| Posted by Carolyn Coville on 01/05/06 at 02:33 AM oh this is hilarious! one of the best poems i've read in awhile |
| Posted by A. Paige White on 12/21/07 at 12:21 PM Congratulations on POTD! This is too funny! I never realized Chris was such a buffet ham. I always thought he was just a bbq man. Great stuff. Got a feeling a lot of ribbing will head his way from this one!(probably the rib under the missing button) |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 12/21/07 at 03:34 PM bwahahahahahahha! A classic tale of Chris-tmas cheer. I loved it!! |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/21/07 at 05:41 PM Congrats on having this finally make POTD Mary Ellen. I had completely forgotten about it, so what a pleasant surprise. If we can't laugh at ourselves, especially at Christmas, then we're in serious trouble. Season's best to you and yours! :oD |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 12/21/07 at 07:32 PM ...ahhh, who do i comment to, on, at orrrrr, mary ellen, i love the delicious diatribe de Sorrenti, sheesh, everybody that's anybody knows and gets to eat w/ chris Sorrenti and i just get to read his stuff, unfair to labor!...a great tribute to a great fella, sorta gets the "ahhhhww" vote, eh? the POTD !...peace, chaz |
| Posted by Charles E Minshall on 12/21/07 at 08:23 PM Congratulations on poem of the day Mar. Hilarious....Charlie |
| Posted by Wendy Sparling on 12/21/07 at 08:48 PM HaHa!! I remember when you posted this poem and now I get to see it as POTD!! Congrats!!! |
| Posted by Alex Smyth on 12/21/07 at 09:31 PM What Fun!! congrats on potd and thanks to you and Chris for this new classic! |
| Posted by Alison McKenzie on 12/22/07 at 12:50 AM This is just too cute for words!!!! Merry, happy, happy Mary Ellen, and congratulations on POTD!!!! |
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 12/22/07 at 04:23 AM I couln't stop laughing. And Chris is such a good sport about things. CONGRATULATIONS on POTD!
~Chelle~ |
| Posted by Jean Mollett on 12/22/07 at 06:48 AM Hi Mary Ellen,
I read it on the front page. You made POTD on it and it's also on this week's member pick too. Yay! This is so cute and funny. I gotta go read it again. It had me laughing too, I sure needed it. Thanks for sharing. I also put it on my favorites list too. :) |
| Posted by Joe Cramer on 12/22/07 at 03:24 PM Congrats on POTD! Well done... and well deserved! |
| 
