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Threshold Holding

by Lulu Alder

Another kiss
Another failure
Another caffeinated night
Another year gone by.
And suddenly I’m feeling older
when I consider I’ve lived a fifth of a century.
I feel so unaccomplished.

At my age,
my dad had grief of an orphan
and duty to a country
whose politics he protested.

At my age,
my grandmother felt the flutter of life carried within
and gritted her teeth
and dug in her heels
and felt the engulfing internal exclamation of the body
during birth.

And I wonder what sort of visions
Joan of Arc would have had
if she had lived to be
my age.

And maybe it’s okay if I haven’t earned a purple heart
or ever came close to understanding the majesty of
God
or Life
…yet.
Because I possess my age.
I am twenty.
I am all the new territories of exploration,
the broken hearts, the fender benders,
the drunken jokes, the off-key songs,
the hard learned lessons,
the secrets told in sync with glittering waves,
the hands held tight, the hands held high,
the naively romantic kisses, the regrets,
the failures despite best efforts, the victories of no merit,
and the caffeinated nights
that Twenty roars.

06/30/2005

Author's Note: For the first Twenty-Somethings Challenge: "Roaring Twenties"

Posted on 07/04/2005
Copyright © 2024 Lulu Alder

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 07/05/05 at 12:48 AM

I've long since passed my own roaring twenties, but felt easily reconnected with your poem. Thanks for that! :o)

Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 08/26/05 at 05:42 AM

SO TRUE!! Kudos on the poem - you express the feeling beautifully. You're a little ahead of me but I've been battling the number 18 with everything I've got for the last 7 months and only coming back to that it's here to stay. My mother was married. I, on the other hand, am all for climbing back into the womb.

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 11/09/05 at 01:05 PM

a beautifully rendered and heartfelt poem. and I would congratulate you on your twentieth year on this planet and wishing you will have many more if only to write, write, your heart out.

Posted by Delilah Coyne on 03/23/06 at 08:02 PM

I like the comparisons to father and grandmother. This is a very nice piece.

Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 11/27/06 at 09:25 PM

Enjoyed this very much. Thanks for the read.

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