Wow, this is a powerful one, David. I can picture it vividly and feel the eerieness of it. You communicate a mood without naming it, and create something deeply resonant in the reader. Fantastic senryu, one of the best I have ever read. Congratulations. I am putting this in my favorite and suggesting it for poem of the day.

Has the perfect effect with the pouring rain outside David. I echo Glenn's comment. Well done!

this is absolutely perfect ;) very eerie image of fate

Bravo! I echo the sentiments expressed.