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What If The Olsen Twins Grew Up To Be Ugly?
by Amy WustrinWhat if the Olsen twins
Grew up to be ugly
Or worse, even than that,
Fat?
Do you suppose anyone
Would care enough to keep track
Of who's got an eating disorder
And who's on drugs?
If those perky little pigtails
Hadn't developed
Into perky little tits
And every man's wet dream
Who'd want to be like them?
I guess it'd be unseemly
For America's sweethearts
To come of age so gracelesly
But for us ordinary folks
Never fear
Our men don't stand a chance
With Ashley or Mary-Kate 04/22/2005 Author's Note: This is what endless Full House reruns can do to a person. The sad thing is... there *isn't* anything better on.
Posted on 04/23/2005
Copyright © 2025 Amy Wustrin
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Agnes Eva on 04/23/05 at 03:28 AM heehee, yes their faces take on a rather simian quality as they age. men are surprisingly less and less interested from what i hear... |
| Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 04/25/05 at 07:46 AM Amy, those Olsen twins ain't got nothing on you! You managed to tear them apart with witty ease and quite a few touches of sarcasm. A good piece of poetry. Can we print it and send it to the Olsen twins? LOL! Thanks for the read.
~~ Kyle Anne |
| Posted by Brett Shane on 04/26/05 at 07:47 AM i really enjoyed this... very humourous :) |
| Posted by Amanda J Cobb on 01/31/06 at 11:18 PM Hahaha. Oh my. Funny, and yet, oh so true at the same time. I can sympathize; I watch Full House reruns as well. |
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