Dear Lord, we ask you if you will,
Put your blessing on this meal.
We ask you, Father, if it pleases,
Protect us from these new diseases.

Please bless the spinach, and the romaine,
And cleanse it of some lurking ptomaine.
God, bless our ice cream and our cola.
Pray it’s not teeming with Ebola.

And pray the deli didn’t sell a
Cole slaw, ripe with Salmonella.
We also ask a special blessing;
No Botulism in the dressing.

While we regard your higher power,
Make sure the deviled eggs aren’t sour.
And please Lord, bless our sirloin tip,
And purge it of E.Coli’s grip.


A special blessing on the sherry,
Oh Lord, we need no dysentery;
So it not poisons, or impacts,
Or liquefies our lower tracts.

And Lord, make sure no one is able
To get sick and die, upon this table.
So bless Lord, all this food we share,
Insure no deadly virus there.

And once we’re fully satiated,
We pray we aren’t all contaminated,
And wind up just another toll
For the Center for Disease Control.

One more thing Lord, if it’s OK,
Please hold this blessing that we pray.
Just hold it Lord, if you might………
Somehow, we’ve lost our appetite….


****** AMEN ******

03/22/2005

Author's Note: I had to go to a family reunion a few years back. The whole clan is very very religious. I, on the other hand, took another route in life, went into the military and stayed there for over twenty years. I knew my ninety year old martiarch Aunt would alway ask her long lost, errant, black sheep nephew to say grace. So I came prepared..and I did..Everyone bowed, eyes closed. After the first verse eyes started opening with a somewhat confused look. But I had them all laughing in the end....They did appreciate it.

Posted on 03/22/2005
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