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*Topic~sand castles of my mind
by Kimberly BareBuild it up,
grain by grain,
towers and turrets
and long winding lanes.
Plant a flag,
stake your claim,
remember the dungeon
to lock away the pain.
The moat, and the dragons,
and heroic knights
riding through perils
on horses of white.
Romance, adventure,
fortunes untold;
lasting forever,
or long as the tide holds. 03/13/2005 Author's Note: Topic given by Kyle Anne Kish.
Posted on 03/13/2005
Copyright © 2024 Kimberly Bare
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 03/14/05 at 01:17 AM Kimberly, I truly like how you took this topic and ran with it.
The only thing I'd have done differently in this piece would be to omit "the" second stanza, line four and fifth stanza, line four ... to make this read more smoothly.
Regardless, you have developed a fine piece of poetry here which not only speaks of building and dreaming, but emotional pain. Super read! :) |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 03/15/05 at 07:11 PM Excellent analogy, use of metaphors to express the fragility of the mind. Adds to favorites. |
| Posted by Mary Ellen Smith on 03/16/05 at 06:14 PM "As long as the tide holds"....wraps up this wistfully wonderful poem just perfectly! |
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