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Cocaine Wishes And Marijuana Dreams

by Amy Wustrin

I am my Father's youngest daughter
And his only one, too
And I am the most like him
Out of all his children
It's true
You can ask any one of us
As long as it's me you ask

So it really should come
As no surprise
The way I behave
The politics I proclaim
Yes, even the drugs I do
And especially, the Vodka I drink
And the beer I hate

It's nothing to worry about, really
The way I divide my days off
Into white lines
And green buds
And clear liquor

Until now, I could hardly drag my sorry ass out of bed
You should see me now
The way I can wake up and get ready
For an 8:30am shift way the fuck in New Jersey
Would make your head spin, I tell ya

Suddenly, I have a reason
I have a purpose
I have hope
And dammit if I can't face my day with a smile

But it's not really the drugs
That got me there, I admit
But the truth they forced out
One night this winter
During one bad-ass snowstorm
Between me and my best friend

If you smoke enough
And drink enough
And snort enough
Then eventually
You'll have no room for your secrets inside

So they all come pouring out
Like one last shot
Or hit
Or bump
And you can't untell the secrets
Just like you can't undo the drugs

So thanks to narcotics and alcohol
She and I will just have to learn
To live with the painful secrets we divulged...
That we love eachother
And always will
And when there's no one else to turn to
We're still never in it alone

Those damned drugs
No one should ever
Get to be
This much at peace

No wonder there's a war
Been waged against the lot of them
By miserable, lonely old men

(But at least my father
Isn't one of them.)

01/31/2005

Posted on 01/31/2005
Copyright © 2020 Amy Wustrin

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 02/04/05 at 04:49 PM

this blew me away... like a white line being blown; away OR up a nose... it can be read two ways... literal or sarcastic... i like that element... very raw and real... blessings...

Posted by Meghan Helmich on 07/15/08 at 04:46 PM

this is creepy - another thing we have in common. i also hate beer. and am attracted to white, green, and clear. on a regular basis.

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 02/28/09 at 01:23 PM

I hear ya gal...been there, done that...bought the t-shirt. So true especially, this stanza and the one that follows: If you smoke enough And drink enough And snort enough Then eventually You'll have no room for your secrets inside

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