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changing lanes

by Michele Schottelkorb

They make turn signals for a reason, mister
(where has your gray matter gone?)

Cell phones require extreme concentration, sister
(would you endanger your precious spawn?)

road rage becomes me
everytime you cut me off
if it weren’t for my 5 year old
I’d flip my bird and scoff
then position my compact vehicle
ahead of your looming car
slam on my brakes and pray
that your dumb ass travels far

01/25/2005

Author's Note: California is a horrible place to drive, even in the desert... I'm either being tailgated by an SUV, or cut-off by a sports car... I try to imagine that these people are truly nice people, but I doubt it... They still don't care, even when I point to my daughter in a car seat in the back seat... Narcissists...

Posted on 01/25/2005
Copyright © 2022 Michele Schottelkorb

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Sarah Graves on 01/26/05 at 01:33 AM

Hah, finally someone writes about the crazy california drivers here! :) Great work.. made me laugh.. and also think about just how anal some drivers can be.

Posted by Charles E Minshall on 01/26/05 at 03:29 AM

Fun Mich...Charlie

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 01/26/05 at 01:43 PM

I think you've hit on the problem, Michele; narcissists, pure and simple, to think they are so important and beautiful, who think that they put mirrors in their cars for them to see themselves exclusively and not the traffic. and what can one say about those dreaded cellphones, whil'st driving. no one is safe.

Posted by Mark Maxey on 01/26/05 at 01:49 PM

man...I wrote a similar piece...glad to know others have the same feelings :P good piece

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 01/26/05 at 05:29 PM

Listen honey, it's same all over, even up here in Canada. Put a belt of steel around some people, and they change from Jekyl to Hyde. Well worded frustration, Michele.

Posted by Max Bouillet on 01/27/05 at 01:06 AM

My wife had a similar experience the other day. People need to pay attention and quit getting in such a hurry. Great read.

Posted by Karl Waldbauer on 01/27/05 at 08:30 AM

Great observation, Michele. Less than half of the drivers in LA ever use turn signals, ever! Thanks, now I feel better.

Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 01/28/05 at 10:59 AM

You express your outrage succinctly and forcefully! With a touch of humor you make your point pointedly!

Posted by Graeme Fielden on 01/28/05 at 03:18 PM

Well expressed Michele...some people, huh?

Posted by JD Clay on 01/30/05 at 09:58 PM

You've struck a chord here, Michele. This nicely scripted rant is sure to find many friends, some of whom may still be steaming in the ditch. Good stuf! pe4ce...

Posted by Steven Kenworthy on 11/26/05 at 08:19 AM

even though i am not a fan of rhyming poetry, the cynicism and ruthless honesty in this piece have brought a smile to my face. i like it a lot. perhaps mostly due to the fact that i sometimes feel very much the same way. well written and powerful...not to be taken for granted, we all want to destroy bad drivers. :)

Posted by Susan Q Tomas on 02/15/06 at 04:34 AM

I bet a poem about bad drivers is very popular! When some speeder hops around in traffic cutting me and 7 other people off, I imagine that he or she has a medical emergency (his penis has been cut off or her foot is on fire) and is rushing to the hospital. It makes me feel better at least. As for the tailgating SUV's, I just loathe them.

Posted by Meghan Helmich on 07/21/08 at 07:07 PM

i always want to do the 'brake check' when someone tailgates me for no reason. especially when i'm in the slow lane. really? get off my bumper...

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