|
Topic: She Isn't Breathing
by Melina Raven Maness DieboldOutside the panorama of neon lights
and zigzag automobiles
"We're all robots" he says
and she isn't breathing-
The rejection in his words
forms fog in the air
with a little help from the cold
"I can't change the subject" he says
and she isn't breathing
Pragmatic dogma publicized
on billboards and bus-sides
are all the proof he needs
"Can't you see, you're not for me..." he says
and she isn't breathing
Left alone in a flannel shirt
and cargo pants without no shoes
she stretches out her feet
rubs the pavement with her socks
so that the cotton catches
"Are you listening?" he says
and she isn't breathing
He walks down the sidewalk
towards his next chapter
turning the page, smearing the ink
his footfalls racing to the ground
to beat her tears to the fall
"Goodbye" he says
and she isn't breathing.. 01/18/2005 Author's Note: topic thread, topic by Marin Kinsley
Posted on 01/18/2005
Copyright © 2025 Melina Raven Maness Diebold
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Shonda Chrissonberry on 01/19/05 at 01:59 AM this took my breath away and filled me with forgotten memories of my past ~ love this one Melina |
| Posted by Kyle Anne Kish on 01/19/05 at 05:04 AM "The rejection in his words
form fog in the air
with a little help from the cold" <--- I always seem to have favorite lines in a poem that just see to "hit" me. These did it. Very sad and the title worked beautifully for this piece.
|
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 01/19/05 at 05:36 AM Excellent, sad, wonderfully expressed. Like Kyle Anne, the first line grabbed me! Great work, Mina! |
| Posted by Maureen Glaude on 01/19/05 at 06:36 AM haunting in authenticity and pathos. Who of us hasn't had this experience? But it feels unique and utterly tragic when it happens to us. |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 05/26/13 at 02:41 PM Terrific POTD! There are some subtle bits to this that are a cut above - who would talk about cotton socks rubbing and catching on pavement! That last stanza is like a water color in progress. Thanks for this. |
| Posted by James Cavet on 05/27/13 at 02:41 AM this poem had a bit of a sinister meaning to me. I felt the "she isn't breathing" line meant someone lying on the sidewalk, unable to breathe, while others passed by in their lives, not paying attention at all. completely different, I think, from what was intended, but it was the first thing that came to mind. very good though. |
| 
