With tall black boots that cost a week’s pay.

And I shall buy fast cars that are useless

And cheap wine that matches my favorite lipstick.

I shall sleep late and work overtime and carouse

And eat chocolate cake, spilling crumbs on my plumping thighs.

I shall talk on my cell phone in public places

And spend and charge rather than save for old age.

I shall wear 3-inch heels rain, sleet, or snow

And eat strawberries from grocery displays.

And learn to sew.

You can wear dangerously low-cut shirts

And nibble salads and curse the scales

Or inhale a pint of Ben & Jerry’s after a breakup

And have an endless array of earrings without mates.

Later, we will fatten our 401(k)s

And buy houses in suburbs and SUVs

And teach ourselves to knit and bake cookies for the kids.

We must rise early and avoid fried foods.

But maybe I ought to exercise my better judgment

So friends and relations are not too relieved

When I reach middle-age and retire my pink skirt.

Based on "Warning" by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobrietry of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick flowers in other people's gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickles for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

  But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.