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celestial assertion
by Rachelle Howei haven't been this afraid
of the dark since
i was seven.
coddled and wrapped in my
security blanket, i found
comfort in the recesses
of my closet and the monsters
beneath my bed; transformed.
chloroform, you
press to my ankles and nose, saying:
"it will all fade, you won't
feel a thing,
feel at all,
feel the unbecoming."
and i turned, like stars,
as they revolved around
such poignant moons, they
shimmered in eyes that went out;
blackened.
they inked the truth along
veins and trysts,
they chose and swam, they
with free will and putrid fangs.
but i -- that shivering child with brittle flesh --
dwell here within the vast expanse
that was my mother; defiled.
08/20/2004 Author's Note: my entry for the SPSoH. pfft. 2 minutes, edited a tit bit. thanks to mike's suggestion. MIKE. YOU ROCK.
Posted on 08/21/2004
Copyright © 2024 Rachelle Howe
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Max Bouillet on 08/21/04 at 12:50 AM I see this as a journey from feeling alive to the numbness of being jaded. Emmersed in the numbness that life inevitably chokes down your throat; this verse has exquisite themes and images. Great read. |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 08/21/04 at 03:36 PM Here's to helpful suggestions. One of your strongest pieces to date Rachelle. Captivating, stirring read from start to finish. Left me with an uneasy feeling, putting myself in your position; job well done. |
| Posted by JD Clay on 08/21/04 at 06:21 PM This is a well textured poem with a bite. I like the way it moves in and out of safe and secure. Good stuff, Rachelle!
Pe4ce... |
| Posted by Laura Doom on 08/21/04 at 11:43 PM the time is irrelevant - it's substance that carries the weight
evolution, in material and creator - contrasts in style that innervate your body of words, description and metaphor. You chill! |
| Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 08/23/04 at 11:19 AM affirms not the notion but the reality that we are indeed living and breathing expressions waiting to impress upon the parchment, as this poem is a testament to that reality. |
| Posted by Ginette T Belle on 08/23/04 at 11:57 PM i love everything about this...truly i don't know how you write such powerful, potent stuff...you win in life... |
| Posted by Kristine Briese on 08/24/04 at 06:15 PM Sweet God. Amazing.
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| Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 06/10/05 at 02:03 PM i could have sworn i commented on this. did you repost it after your edit? well, maybe my memory is just shot. ...coddled and wrapped in my
security blanket, -- i can almost see a transformation take place, an innocent child forced to grow up too fast -- chloroform, you
press to my ankles and nose, saying: -- makes me think that a violent, unthinkable act took place (and that doesn't necesssarily make it so -- just my interpretation) the last three stanzas are beautifully profound -- stars roam free, while the child is trapped in her own nightmare -- a mute witness??? i don't know for sure, but it doesn't matter how it ends. this is a great poem because it tells a story in searing image, raises questions in an evocative way, and haunts with a touch of mystery. congrats on POTD. |
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