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Strive to BE

by Rula Shin


my fingers type away the words fast, then
slow, then fast again while thinking backwards,
I long to see the glimpse of a special time
this very moment, the only time that
matters to me and I work hard, but still
only beginning to remain aware of what is,
without, and all my within

still, awareness escapes me but for
this memory I have that reminds me of
myself, recalls that I AM

I keep the battle alive and burning,
all pride meaningless but for the drive of LIVING,
since knowing the path and not walking it is a
harrowing passive death, so I stick my
attention to the thought that
carries me away

oh! I struggle to type these words
knowing now that I shall never
type ahead of the Time

I can sense my body,
keys punched by fingers,
the atmospheric pressure, my
triumph in thwarting the external stimuli's,
the whole scene unfolds as my fingers walk and
my brain speaks each word, word by word
my mind and body are one

08/16/2004

Posted on 08/16/2004
Copyright © 2021 Rula Shin

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 08/17/04 at 02:10 AM

Great capture of the spirit of writing Rula. I especially like that third stanza; quite moving.

Posted by Ashok Sharda on 08/20/04 at 05:22 PM

‘the whole scene unfolds as my fingers walk and my brain speaks each word, word by word my mind and body are one’……The beauty of this ‘whole scene’ is bound to increase manifolds, when the presence of the BEING shall intensify in the continuity of this ‘walk’, not just in the ‘fingers’ typing away ‘the words fast, then slow, then fast again’, not just in the ‘thinking backwards’, so as to stuck to the physical boundaries where mind and body meet, where the space and time forms one ‘whole’ space-time continuum, but in the continuity of the ‘thwarting the external stimuli’s’, moving from one pole to the other, always aiming the next pole, in moving from one external association to the other, without a jump (and even if one jumps one ought to know how one jumped and where was one when one jumped) moving and experiencing the space-time continuum. The beauty is in the jumping the jumps from one external association to another. This is the space in the space of time one experiences the presence of the BEING, charged with refined energies and attention intact, This is the state of a new realization, An ILHAAM in the process of BECOMING. This poem of yours looks like a depiction of the practicals of the struggle you seem to have undertaken in your strive to BE, a result of your knowing that ‘knowing the path and not walking it is a harrowing passive death’. So, stick your attention to what is, become one with your attention as if you are the ATTENTION.

Posted by Laura Doom on 08/21/04 at 10:15 PM

Plenty of deconstruction offered ahead of me, so I'll restrict myself to commenting on what I didn't 'see' here, along with 'mind', 'brain', 'thinking' and 'words'...absorbed as I was in your words, I was struck by the absence of 'feeling'. It read as an intellectual exercise, which I presume was the intention. As such, it is excellent - a fascinating piece of self-scrutiny for an 'outsider' looking in - and although I can't say it succeeded in 'moving' me, that won't stop me rating it highly :>

Posted by Thomas K. Hunt on 08/21/04 at 11:08 PM

Beautiful flow of thought and self........

Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 08/25/04 at 01:04 AM

Sing it, sista!

Posted by JD Clay on 09/03/04 at 12:59 PM

This is a superb depiction of the process, Rula. Your fingers guided through mind over matter in a scenario that resonates extremely well. Pe4ce...

Posted by Amanda L Marron on 09/07/04 at 05:40 PM

i feel this way at times when i'm writing. like ideas will be coming so fast that i barely have enough time to type them or write them down, then some ideas will take forever to take form in my head.

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 09/10/04 at 04:28 PM

you make us all aware of the importance of being in the moment, in the second even, and yet the acknowledgment, the knowing that all such moments, past or present are never far away from us, as we string each along like a nape of pearls.

Posted by Charles E Minshall on 10/07/04 at 06:52 PM

In the moments of conception writing can be all encompassing shutting out all extranious thought other than those at the finger tips of the writer. Well done Rula.....Charlie

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