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Me And The Bugs
by Chris Sorrenti
Just relaxing at home; reading a good book, TV on in the background,
then I look up, there’s a big black ant sitting next to me on the sofa.
He says “Ah, Gulliver’s Travels...definitely a classic,
would you turn the page please?
And do you mind if I make myself a thimble of coffee?
Excuse my coming in unannounced, but you looked to be such a fine host,
may I invite some friends?”
Didn’t have much choice, counting all the holes in my rented castle unkempt,
so I continued reading, glancing up occasionally at the television,
and not long after, there in the doorway, crawled an earwig,
laughing his antennae off at this week’s episode of Night Court;
the judge’s office having been invaded by an army of cockroaches.
The earwig then called over: “Could you change the channel?
Wild Kingdom - my favorite! is coming on at eight. According to TV Guide,
I should spot some distant cousins.”
Naturally, being the good host that I am, and not wanting to offend,
I did change the channel, even ordered a pizza; spiders dropping in for a bite,
who despite their reputation were quite amicable.
Found it a bit rude though when the family of crickets flooded onto that last piece.
Yeah - me and the bugs - hey we’re doin’ OK, staying cool in my basement apartment,
though I’ve found it kinda hard to keep a steady girlfriend,
but if ever the right one should come along...
there’s always that can of Raid under the sink!
© 1989
2,380 hits as of December 2024
06/15/2004 Author's Note: I'm sure everyone has a bug story to tell.
Posted on 06/15/2004
Copyright © 2024 Chris Sorrenti
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Rula Shin on 06/15/04 at 10:15 PM Hahaha oh man this reminds me of that weird MTV (i think it was MTV) show Joe's Apartment where he lived with a colony of roaches *EWWWWW shivers up and down spine* My most hated of all bugs (And yes I use the term "hate" in all it's intensity!) I remember Joe had a date and all the roaches, knowing how lonely Joe was, helped him prepare. So darned sweet were they...fixing him up nicely in a handsome suit and preparing the dinner table with candles...and when they all gathered atop the light hanging from the ceiling to peek in on the progression of the romantic evening, there just were too many antennae's pushing for a 'good spot' and well, Joe's girl was 'showered' with with 'unromantic' notions. Needless to say she didn't stay for dinner hahaha Man, that was funny stuff though quite sickening to my particular stomach hahaha (though I must say I do like me some spiders haha) :-) Nice piece Chris. |
| Posted by Maureen Glaude on 06/15/04 at 10:45 PM Coincidentally, had my first house fly in tonight while preparing supper. As I took out the flyswatter I thought of you & your fly poem, before you posted this. But I'd never read this one. Very funny, rather adorable I'd say. Not too appetizing though. |
| Posted by Mary Ellen Smith on 06/16/04 at 12:58 PM very funny...but now I am all itchy! |
| Posted by Ashok Sharda on 06/16/04 at 05:17 PM Well, I am seeing it on different dimension. Rather from a different layer. They are human bugs. And the experience remains the same. Ants every where. hahahaha |
| Posted by Christina Bruno on 06/18/04 at 11:00 PM very cool...lol...one day i was laying down on the coach and i saw about 500 termites crawling aroudn the porch...my dad put them in a ziplock >x |
| Posted by Jean Mollett on 06/28/06 at 03:26 PM Hi Chris,
How do you do it? Another big hit, great piece of work. Funny, even if there is alot of bugs.
Not many would be such a great host like that. Hee! Hee! Like I said before, what an imagination. Great work. :) |
| Posted by Junemarie Roldan on 07/17/06 at 02:25 AM I too saw 'Joe's Apartment' and though I detest roaches, I laughed my ass off. It was easier since they weren't in my apt. I love stories and poems, where species other than ourselves are given human attributes. They appeal to me immensely. I guess that's why they are so often popular on the big screen. Anyway, thanks for my big belly laugh of the day. |
| Posted by A. Paige White on 05/18/07 at 02:21 AM 
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| Posted by Joan Serratelli on 03/12/09 at 04:12 PM Not afraid of bugs (except "Daddy longlegs") I liked this piece. (I also liked Paige's comment!) good write! |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 11/13/11 at 11:53 PM This is delightfully entertaining, Chris. I like how you've included not one, but several kinds of bugs. Quite an amicable group you've got there in that basement apt. "and not long after, there in the doorway, crawled an earwig,
laughing his antennae off at this weeks episode of Night Court;
the judges office having been invaded by an army of cockroaches." These are my favorite lines. Thanks! |
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