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Barbie in Space
by Kate SwearingenShe had always wanted to go to space,
but the idea never seemed real until she met
Astronaut Ken.
She couldnt believe her eyes when she saw
his astronaut suitcomplete with space helmet
and oxygen tank.
When Mattel told her space is no place for
Barbie she begged Ken to let her borrow
his suit and take a ride in his Astro-Shuttle
(sold separately)
Ken hides naked under the couch and gives the
countdown
10
Barbie sits in the seat with unbending legs straight out
9
Barbie waves stiff handed to Ken and smiles (of course)
8
Barbie reaches for the strap to buckle herself in
7
Even as Barbies fingers brush the strap she cannot hold it
6
Oh how Barbie wishes she has real opposable thumbs
5
Barbie realizes that she cannot strap herself in
4
Oh no! Barbie wishes she could stop smiling behind Kens helmet
3
Barbie thinks if only she could frown Ken would stop the countdown
2
Barbie knocks her helmet against the window of the Astro-Shuttle (sold separately)
1
Just before Ken pushes the BLASTOFF button Barbie pushes the door open
and falls to the ground
face down
stuck beneath the weight of the oxygen tank
BLASTOFF!
The Astro-Shuttle takes off at Barbies feet
up
up
up
and straight back down to the ground.
Phew! Barbie catches her breath as she changes
back into her boring pink business suit
and Ken says they better keep this between the two of them.
Barbie realizes that this is her third secret:
she cant tell about the time
she posed nude for Hustler
or the time she tried to join the army
in GI Joes fatigues
but was too kind to kill the other soldiers
and now, she cant tell about the time
that she tried to be an astronaut
and couldnt buckle herself in.
Ken puts his astronaut suit back on and
tells Barbie that maybe she should stick to
her purpose in life instead of chasing dreams
Barbie was not meant to
have opposable thumbs.
11/18/2003 Author's Note: Based on the poetry of Denise Duhamel
Posted on 04/01/2004
Copyright © 2024 Kate Swearingen
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Soulo Jacob Bourgeau on 12/18/05 at 06:14 AM This is clever, hillarious, memorable, already added to my favorites, already suggested for POTD, and still churning giggles in my belly. Yet, I shouldn't be laughing at Barbie crashing into her glass ceiling. So un-PC of me! |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 01/03/06 at 11:28 PM Great read, great comment on Barbieland! |
| Posted by Holly H Dunne on 08/02/06 at 05:41 PM haha, great entertainment! much lighter than my sadistic barbie poem! very enjoyable. x |
| Posted by Maria Francesca on 04/06/07 at 03:21 AM You forgot about her other secret...you know, that time she was out on the grassy knowl... -maria. |
| Posted by Maria Francesca on 04/06/07 at 03:22 AM whoops, I meant knoll. |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 05/09/08 at 04:58 PM Hi Kate. I happened upon this poem in Pathetic's random choices section. Great poem! Witty use of an iconic couple to express sexual and gender roll stereotyping. Glad I finally had a chance to read this, and I will indeed Google Denise Duhamel. |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 03/19/13 at 01:24 PM Good to see this as POTD! |
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